seriously, bestie for almost 9yrs. amazing. and amazing how we gt close, nt close, cold war, same sch, very close, stayovers, chalets, gossips, fighting over cute guys, not close again, sch ended, close again.

the very girl dat i tell my secrets to. every SINGLE guy i've ever liked? ask this little girl. she noes every single guy; every single name. where i met him, when i liked him, how i met him, how long i liked him, why i liked him. EVERYTHING. including the one i like right now.

the girl whom i'll tell abt the guy i like, and she'll pretend 2 lemme "cry" on her shoulder and when i pretend 2 cry she ask me not 2 cry so loud cuz embarrassing.

THE GIRL WHOM I'VE NEVER GONE OVERSEAS WITH IN OUR 8YEARS OF FRENSHIP. but in the NINTH YEAR, next year. its HONGKONG. wif 2 little other idiots called tony and jim.

iloveyou bestie!<3

dont need a guy who'll wait 4 me after work everyday even tho its sweet. dont need one who'll always buy stuffs 4 me tho food is always welcome. nor who'll always protect me, cuz geting bullied by frenz is kinda fun actually. but i do wan a guy who'll be there for me when i need, even if not free, to contact me once free 2 show me he cares, a guy who noes i love piggybacks and would piggyback me when im feeling down, tease me and everything.

enough wif the people telling me the one is 0ut thr. seriously, i can see la. if no guy likes u is confirm something wrong wif u. no matter wad others tell you, tho i noe my frenz are saying it cuz they wan me 2 b happy, but i noe dat obviously thr is something majorly turnoff abt me dats why guys JUST dont like me.

from step up 3.

i actually went 2 dl it and watched it all over again. i dun remember who else was there when i watched step up 3. oni remember deanna cuz she was sitting beside me and we were going all crazy little kids when they started dancing! nt dat i'll like 2 learn hip hop, tho its cool! if i had the chance i would like to learn ballroom dancing. like cool eh

anyway! from step up 3:

Moose: So, scale of 1-10. How much do you hate me?

Camille: I don't hate you Moose. I miss you. And what's worse, feeling like you don't miss me at all. I don't even matter to you anymore.

fucking pissed. everything oso my fault. next time dont, blahblahblah. seriously? I OSO DONT KNOW RIGHT. WHO THE FUCK WANS 2 BE SCOLDED AND NAGGED AT BY YOU?

someone to hug, someone to scold and rant at when im pissed off, someone to tease and tickle, someone to have long talks with, someone to have supper with, someone who'll take care of me when im sick, someone who'll randomly surprise me fetching me from work, someone who'll hug me back, someone who'll tease me and tickle me back (lightly) and then run away but still let me catch up so i can whack, someone who'll surprise me with random cards, someone who'll love me as i am

when will love ever come around to knocking on my door?

blame game. ok i KNOW i should haf done this i should haf done dat. but come on, its my first time. im as clueless as anyone else!! i know, very defensive and wtf. but im feeling very pissed off too. i keep getting the "YOU do it", "YOU choose", "YOU should have looked properly and read properly" wtf. yes its always me.

haven updated abt my bdae, which was abt a week ago!

had work on my bdae itself so was booked by pam on 1dec instead to go out

initially juz de 2 of us but den somehw tony gt field camp so thurs can book 0ut so in de end it was 4 of us. me pam tony jim. de 4 who are going 2 hk 2gether=D

anyway! so de plan was pam and i slack ard and den meet them after. tony'll collect car and everything wadnots la.

so we went amk cuz pam hadta collect a watch she bought so collected and i REALLY wanted 2 cuthair. plus i REALLY wanted bubbletea! so we bought bubble tea and wander ard looking 4 cheap hairdressers which look professional (so demanding rite,i noee)

en we saw this one wif de promo of 3.90 haircut! (fake 1, mine called need 2 design so it cost me 18bucks!! but i like de hairstyle so 18bucks is ok la=D)

anyway! upstairs was manicure place and the girl who approached us was a manicurist!! so since i wanna cut hair, pam wan manicure, and alot of people waiting 4 haircut so we go up 2 de manicure place 1st!! and its so comfy!! so pam did her nails and persuaded me 2 get my nails done too. 1st time in my entire life!! kinda scary. dunno why she say nt pain-.- i feel abit pain lehh. mayb cuz 1st time too much dead skin? dunno la!

blue nails now! gelish. the girl say will strengthen and make my nails grow faster OR SOMETHING LA. basically cuz i wanna do french manicure once in my lifetime so i thought might as well grow my nails. plus paint le = wont bite. initially self concious cuz its so STRIKING COLOUR. but now me likey! kinda la

den downstairs 2 haircut! one side long one side short. and cuz waiting time was horrendous, so we were late 4 meeting tony and jim and tony was all uncle-ish abt it-.- he even asked us 2 cab 2 timbre 0urselves. like wth-.- like i thought its my bdae cele? and u ask me 2 cab? seriously-.-

ANYWAY! reached and ate and wadnots. gt a lil affected cuz i felt left 0ut. den on 2 marina barage. and den da idiot called tony asked me go pei jim buy drink and snacks from 7-11. i was super angry. wtf u chasing me 0utta de car for sia. so i was like thanks ah. and literally slam de door real hard. my bdae rite? so stop ordering me ard la?

anyway! den while on the way it reached midnight and bdae wishes came in. and den reached and the gave me a cakee but i was feeling REAL down so i didnt do much and walked off alone. kinda ruined de mood i noe

and when at barage itself i went off myself and started 2 cry cuz i felt so super lonely and left 0ut. but after dat things were better cuz we talked it 0ut and clarified everything(: thanksful 4 dat. and thankful 4 silly little ruth 4 texting me even tho its so late and im like so hard 2 please=x

AND deanna called me 2 sing happy bdae song 2 me!! thanks so much girl!! really felt so loved!! but i hadta interrupt her singing cuz my batt was dying. but super loved!!<3

and den after dat was send jim back. and den random chitchats on the way back. sent pam back cuz she was motion sick=( poor thing. den last one was me! den yea. dat was abt all. next day went 2 work! and sy never come-.- and siti come in late wad cuz gt sch. so i kinda hadta handle math myself. and was so pissed cuz dat auntie wouldnt even help 2 mark those folders in the white box when im struggling alone?? they gt 3 people thr leh. so nice of her.

BUTBUTBUT payday on my bdae!! so happy!! and my bosses v nice luh. they gimme $20 popular voucher!! dunno wad 2 buy bt still!! it wasnt necessary de ma.

ANYWAY! ok bye. nothing 2 do leh.

i wan a kenshin as my bf. simple as dat.

HAHAHAHAHA!! ok la. totally not simple. but like a seriously? my dream guy kay?(:

and little silly bestie pam lost her voice (kinda) and so when she was trying 2 tell me smt regarding my 0uting wif her 2morrow, she hadta CHARADES it 0ut. and GOODNESS our wavelengths super different. HAHAHAHAHA she gt so pissed and she kept making the stabbing heart action after dat. HAHAHAHAHA!! yes pamela i love u!!<3

something random but randomly sweet(:

my mummy slping wif me this week so she was getting 0utta bed 2 get something and i looked cuz she was standing up and making noise (i using lappy)

den i saw her wearing socks. like sec sch length kinda socks (i mean the length dat the school sells, nt de length we wear) and i was like huuh why u wearing socks 2 slp sia?

and she told me oh cuz my dad bought it 4 her and she's been wearing it since, and its 4 slping one.

sweet uhh? more often den nt my dad is throwing tantrums and being mad at my poor mum bt they do haf random sweet moments i guess!(:

and my dad can get very happy over pieces of meat. namely, LAMB. he bought mutton de other day 2 cook and was happy the WHOLE day even tho my sis and i gt bigger portions than him

cuz i always tell myself DONT EXPECT MUCH. but i still end up wishing and expecting and hoping, and getting hurt, disappointed and demoralised.

seriously? i should start getting prepared 2 be single 4 life.

tell me when will i ever haf someone who would put me first.

been sad abt afew stuffs recently but on the other hand i've been really blessed too!

i metup alot wif my bestie recently, 4 random latenite suppers. quite afew days never meet alr tho. alr kinda missing the latenite suppers at mac. whr she'll order HAPPYMEAL-.- the last time was like thursday=(

bt im really glad cuz this is 1 frenship which i never wanted 2 let go of(: and it warms my heart 2 noe dat she really treasures this frenship too!(: dats really all dat i need(:

another blessing is yuhan! hahas. weird, i kno. especially since i used 2 like him. bt we're frenz and he's really kinda crazy. in the nice way of cuz.

talked 2 him abt smt and his reply was "no worries lah.. u will find more frd

and better ones

and one of em will be ur bf!

and

husband!"

HAHA yea. de same guy who ask me go supermarket and look at guys buying groceries 4 potential bf!!

and after he said dat 2 me (the find more frenz), i was like awwww. den i said nvm i gt other frenz. like him! and i told him i'll text him again at like 3 plus am and he was like ok! crazy guy. seriously. HAHAHAHA!! really ren tai hao le la!

ok! randoms end.

u'll never know how much it hurt, because u never really cared.

insecurities over the same thing over and over and over again. sometimes i really wish that for once people would notice me first. because it hurts. it's like a knife through the self confidence everytime something like that happens. and this happens all the time. i should have been immune to it but for some weird reason it hurts all the time. though i should have been totally mentally prepared from the start. but still. some things im unable to prepare myself for. and some things cannot be numbed towards. maybe i should just wake up, from the dream that i had since young. the dream of a happily ever after. cuz c'mon, face facts mel.

been seriously quite long since i seriously blogged.

went 0ut wif my crazy bestie on sat!! totally<3 hahas

been meeting her randomly actually! like once when we bumped into each other. kinda. she was on the bus and i was at the inter. and we were on the phone!! talking abt NZ of cuz(: next june!! totally cant wait!!

met her 4 supper on thurs? and den fri she and tony biked over wif delivery of tauhuey and youtiao 4 me!<3 hahas!! and den sat we metup!! awesome thing was thr was cute guy *winks*

HAHAHAHAHA!! de guy pam and i are 4ever "fighting" over cuz he's SERIOUSLY CUTE!! OHOHO!! bt anyway. they lied 2 me say he nt coming den say another fren of tony's is coming. in de end its him. i jitao ??? when i saw him! hahas

and they tried 2 matchmake us-.- pamela matchmake me wif de 2nd person alr cans. 1st was her colleague-.- 2nd is de cuteguy-.-

lucky nt dat awkward sia. had an awesome time of eating, tauhuey/grass jelly+youtiao-ing (again, fattening) and den finding a decent pub 2 drink at. in de end our final destination? a thai pub at golden mile complex. if u think ew immediately, totally wrong. the pub is really nice!! alot of thai songs bt gt eng and chi songs sia. nicee. and the people are totally cute and friendly!! gt 1 table once their people sing song they'll ALL stand up and start dancing. CUTENESS MAX!! even when gt 2 were playing pool they oso dance along. HAHAHAHA!!

very nice atmosphere!! probs will go again? hahas. bt muz find 1 day meetup again!! so thankful 4 these frenships cuz we seldom meet bt when we meetup thr's like TOTALLY NO AWKWARDNESS!!<3 and we still suan each other. i hadta beg tony 2 send me 2 bedok de next day and i kept saying he v handsome, very charming blah blah. buay zidong one leh he. on the way rite-.- HAHAHAHA!!

reached home at 445 liddat and hadta wake up at 730 de next day cuz going marina barage but AMAZINGLY i was awake through0ut the day!! even running ard and playing games!!

enjoyed my sat and sunday max(:

oni; i wonder. can i still haf so much fun wif them im if not doing well and they judge me? can i juz stay 4 de fun? please? hahas. yea. thinkaloud.

我知道了。我对你来说就只是一个普通朋友。好朋友都不是。所以很容易就把我忘掉。

那你以前说的话都是假的吗？

我很笨。我真得真的很笨。

i know i should, but im unable to. knowing does not equate to being able to.

tell me what i am, because i feel like im weak and lousy.

Why Women Cry

A little boy asked his mother, "Why are you crying?" "Because I'm a woman," she told him.

"I don't understand," he said. His Mom just hugged him and said, "And you never will."

Later the little boy asked his father, "Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?"

"All women cry for no reason," was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to God. When God got on the phone, he asked, "God, why do women cry so easily?"

God said, "When I made the woman she had to be special.

I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world,

yet gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up, and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

And finally, I gave her a tear to shed. This is hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed."

"You see my son," said God, "the beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair.

The beauty of a woman must be seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart - the place where love resides."

Author: Unknown

ok major headache going on. especially since 2morrow is work at the lab instead of kumon and i really kinda hate it=(

like very stressed. and i always hated first few weeks of work ANYWAY. like i cant cope well.

anyway 2day at work it was cui cuz i gt so pissed off wif my colleague. like a seriously?? can u BE HELPFUL FOR ONCE? totally pissed me off. not helping dat i slowly gt a headache and den hadta endure her CHATTERING. seriously. u dun do work its fine wif me, but dun CHATTER AT MY SIDE WHEN IM TRYING 2 DO WORK!!

and oso, telling the new colleague dat u help out in math and english? like OH-EM-GEE SERIOUSLY?! DATS NEW TO ME!! u help? u're more hindrance than help u'kno.

bt its ok. im leaving soon. im gonna miss the kids and the work, minus the colleague. 2 to b exact. bt ohwell. i've made the choice. the spur-of-the-moment choice. thinking back even before i signed i was having second thoughts. why the f did i sign it then?!

ok headache making me very pissed and in a totally not good mood. stay clear.

read this on michelle's fb

This is an old story but who cares! :D

Boy: I broke up with her.

His Best Friend: What happened ?

Boy: She’s just too much for me .

His Best Friend: What makes you say that ? What did she do wrong ?

Boy: Well, for one .. She only cared about her appearance . Always had to look good,
always took forever to get dressed ! So insecure ..

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she wanted to keep your eyes
locked on her ? She wanted you to see that you have the prettiest girl
under your sleeve and not think otherwise ? I see ..

Boy: Oh .. Well .. She’d often call me or text me asking where I am, who I’m with, telling
me not to smoke, not to drink . She’s so clingy !

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she cares about your well being ? Because she

cares about you a lot ? And her greatest fear is losing you . I see ..

Boy: But .. Uhh .. Well, she’d always cry when I say something slightly

mean . She can’t handle anything . She’s a crybaby !

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she has feelings ? And because she just

wanted to hear you say you love her ? I see ..

Boy: I .. Well ! You know, she’d get jealous easily . I could barely talk to other girls ! She’s so

annoying ! I had to hide it from her .

His Best Friend: So, you broke her heart because she just wanted you to commit to her ? She thought you

were faithful, but you lied so she could find out later and hurt even

more ? She just wanted the guy she loves the most to love only her . I

see ..

Boy: Well, she ..

His Best Friend: You broke up with her because she’s good for you ? She just wanted the best for you? She’s

broken now because you were selfish . Are you proud ?

Boy: I broke her heart .. Because I couldn’t see what was happening .. What happened to me ?

His Best Friend:You lost the girl that loved you like no one else could .

You see ? You didn’t want her when all she ever wanted was you . THAT’S

what happened ..

i dont want to let go of this friendship. will you promise me you wont let go either?

my mum is such a happy-go-lucky person. how i wish i inherited dat.

2day random day!!

pam randomly called when i was still sleeping. called house phone cuz my hp not on till i wake up. she's like de oni fren who has my house phone number now? i think so la. hahas. kinda sweet 2 haf people calling ur house phone. i feel la(: like nt juz haf hp number, but ur house phone number. ANYWAY!

she said rongjie wanna go back NSS (sec sch) and ask me wan not. so i say ok lor!! so decided 130 at NSS gates. i went back 2 slp. HAHAHAHA!! reached de earliest anyway!!='( so went 2 pam house downstairs 2 nua cuz her house nearby. sit on bench and stone and listen music=D

den she finally came down and we went NSS 2 find rongjie. stupid sia. we reached de sch closed alr-.- so plans failed. HAHAHAHA!!

mac-ed wif them till like 3+ den walk 2 mrt station(: i miss those times sia. sec sch. hahahahas. ANYWAY! den we started all de last time wad we did stuffs. WAS FUN!! nostalgia

den went off 2 meet cheryl leong!! was late. and den we went 2 eat buffet!! after cheryl gt her jeans shorts. hahahahas. den buffet-ed!! nua-ed and really had htht(: me likey!! htht de whole time!! hahas. shared alot 2 her and she shared alot 2 me. nice feeling(:

den shopping and nua-ing ard den pei her buy koi den chewy junior (i did v stupid thing. i laugh like crazy woman the whole time when she buying chewy junior and de server abit awkward. HAHAHAHA!!) and she bought me chewy junior!! me likey(: nice!! and den home!!

dats all(: i really enjoyed 2day(:

as much as i try and wanna believe, i noe for a fact dat im unable to.

saw these from tumblr! and since i dun haf a tumblr so i'll put them on my blog. they're meaningful ah(:

both from here-->http://quotediary.me/

(:

randoms.

wanted 2 upload pics of bbq (clique and glenn's bdae, but anyway glenn's bdae ones haven upload on fb yet) BUTTT i dunno hw 2 save from fb. like irritating. i wanna save picture it save the page-.- so i gave up. HAHAHA!!

ANYWAY!! finally clique bbq!! (the one whr i blogged abt previously)

went after ushering and i walked past them wif0ut realising cuz i thought it was further. plus i was listening music. bt i saw afew people waving and den i looked carefully its siewping and kristy waving!! hahas so i went 0ver(:

people present:

me siewping kristy deanna yvonne zg dedrick sz and 5 of deanna's frenz. hahas cant rmb their names=x

ANYWAY! so had my random bbq and meetup wif frenz!! me loves(:

nothing much 2 talk abt except dat we bbq, random antics like deanna and yvonne falling 0utta an ntuc trolley, zg and i racing 2 de toilet and their frenz mistook us as deanna and her fren and ran away from us, and lying on the rocks(:

didnt drink much. and den off 2 home after dat. yvonne was super tired so she went home while sz and i went 2 zg house

and dats abt all. hahahahas

den glenn's bbq was at his house, his 21st bdae cele(: i've never been 2 his house before!!

hahas. my fav fyp teammate sia. favouritest!! i always tell people i'll never haf survived fyp wif0ut him!! haha!! i remember all 0ur crazy antics. and his coughing in the lab, eating in the lab and EVERYTHING!!

anyway! i was given directions 2 follow but i act smart ah. i saw a guy on the bus and immediately assumed "MUST BE GOING 2 GLENN'S HOUSE OSO" so when he alighted i oso alighted. AND THEN REALISED IT WAS WRONG CUZ THERE WAS NO SECONDARY SCHOOL!! oh-em-gee. HAHAHAHA!! and den eileen called and glenn took over and told me hw 2 get thr. HAHAHA kristy and her fren came 2 fetch me!!

and finally reached!! and 1st thing glenn said when he saw me was "WAD WERE YOU DOING?!" HAHAHAHA!! i act smart ma='(

but omg. how i missed him!! HAHAHAHA!! still as crappy as ever. den stuck 2 eileen (cuz i didnt noe many people thr, glenn invited fyp and ig. and im nt from their ig so dunno most of them)

and den eileen bbq so i juz stand ard look helpful. u'kno. hold 1 plate and pretend u're helping. HAHAHAHAHA!! didnt do much really.

den glenn gt pranked by his army mates. poor thing sia. whipped cream all over. and they pour super alot of alcohol into his drinks so when picture time his face was all red and eyes like bloodshot

soon after we oso left, but it was totally fun!! mayb cuz i didnt feel left 0ut at all(: refreshing change eh.

ANYWAY!! meeting up wif deanna eileen and mayb yvonne 2morrow!!(: siewping cannot cuz of work='( nexttime kays?=D

and 2 kumon kids (siblings) baked cookies 4 us for teachers day!!<3 awesomely delicious!!(: so sweet of them rite!! 2nd time eating them hahas!! cuz i started working thr on 21st aug last yr. means after i work AWHILE jiu teachers day and i gt 2 eat de cookies!! hahas=D and now this year 2nd time lor!!=D

sometimes i oso dunno wad i wan. i wan things 2 remain the same yet a part of me wishes things could change. but cuz i noe things wont change so i wan things 2 remain the same. bt now im getting pretty sensitive abt everything. thinking too much and everything.

its something i will regret 4 a long time, if not the rest of my life, because you are so important 2 me. are, and will always be.

please teach me how 2 cope with this.

watched cinderella these 2 days.

i REALLY LOVE GUS-GUS!! hahas. btw if u're wondering, he's de fat little mouse from cinderella!! so superly cute!! "OOH BEADS!!" and starts de awesomely cute laughter. HAHAHAHA!! i love dat scene. even tho i've watched it countless of times these 2days but it still makes me smile. which is important!!(: he's SOOOOOOOO blur and so cute!!!

at the end of de day i think i really love disney movies. the old ones. love their songs. all along i've always been a dreamer. like always waiting 4 my happily ever after. bt mayb its time 2 wake up. i dont wanna. but i guess i gotta. its kinda impossible 2 haf a fairytale ending. nt in the society now.

im an impatient girl; i dun wanna wait 4 the right one to come. but wad can i do if he juz doesnt?

not a naturally very optimistic girl. im cheerful and all and little things can make me happy and all (like icecream and old disney movies) but thr's always gonna b this hole in my heart which i carved 0ut 4 a happily ever after. but i guess things never go according 2 plan

and i noe, i noe, its so easy 2 say stuffs but so hard 2 apply.

ok nvm on a cheerier sidenote, went 0ut wif ruth and lianjie on thurs! ajisen and den island creamery!! like a finally!!<3 been saying abt island creamery since like BEFORE ruth and lianjie graduated. it was supposed 2 b a "graduation celebration" 4 them. now I'VE graduated and we finally went thr(:

awesomeness!! i ate cookies and cream and mango sherbet. lianjie ate cookies and cream and durian. ruth are reversO and durian. the durian is SO AWESOME!! but so's the cookies and cream and the mango sherbet!! moral of the story, next time buy 3 scoops la mel. SINFUL!!!!(: but icecream is MY LOVESSSSS!!

gotta exercise tho. hahas!! and its so nice 2 noe dat island creamery thr nearby gt bus back 2 yishun!! longbusridesarelove!! hahahahas=D

and i cant wait 4 bbq!! cuz i cant wait 4 drink!!(:

i kinda feel i needa find a new job soon. like REAL soon. cuz more and more i find my temper getting shorter and shorter. so mayb im nt cut 0ut 4 this kinda job?

saw on raymond's fb. so cute!!

‎1.) press ctrl+f
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3.) click highlight all
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I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here, it's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
(Hold your breath, it gets better)

I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back
To where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue

Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

finally gonna haf clique bbq!(: happy girl!!(: hahas=D

*how it all started*

from my previous blogpost, i said i wanted bbq. den siewping came 2 post on my wall and tagging others as well saying she wans too!!

den 2day went zg house 4 jogging cuz monday he pangseh me. HAHAHAHA!! (truth:his fren was going and i thought it'll b awkward so i chickened out for running on mon)

so reached and we both didnt feel like jogging-.- hahas

den i was doing the whole "i wan bbqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq" thing.

so we decided 2 start planning!!

we start planning =

me: i wan bbq...........

zg: hard leh. v hard 2 find date which alot of people can (or smt liddat la)

me: true..but i wan bbqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

zg: ok which date sz say he cannot

me: dunno. bt i wan bbqqqqqqqqqqqq

*zg checks de fb msg and texts sz 2 ask*

me: cannot on weekday or sunday hor? jh and dedrick cannot. i wan bbqqqqqqqqqqqq

zg: sz says *insert dates which he might b free* (i 4gt which dates u see)

*zg suddenly gets up and goes over 2 his laptop*

i juz staree. HAHAHAHAH!! and continue niaming.

den he went 2 check available bbq pits, whr are they etc. and FINALLY!! he booked a bbq pit!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ALTHOUGH its quite obvious zg did everything, but i'd like 2 stress dat WIFOUT my niaming it MIGHT NOT haf happened. thus i should b given credit too. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

went 2 pay 4 it at AXS machine and den lunched. mac-ed.

and den he made me paiseh and my whole face red. and he still dare tell me "wah 你的脸很红 leh!" thanks lorr. and who made me paiseh? i paiseh-ed alr he still juz stunned thr and laugh. make me more paiseh?!

den off 2 work after dat!!

2day work nt bad, cuz less kids. made afew blunders, did afew wrong things, but at the end of de day still fun(: fav small kid never come=(

invisible barrier.

time 2 go write in my diary.

there are some things i cant tell you.

blogpost 700!! omg.

anyway, i wan bbq.

dont feel like staying anymore. really feel like leaving. something my mum said yesterday sparked off thoughts of u. and i miss you so. why did u hafta leave? u'd be 22 this year rite?

really gt me thinking. how i heard from others dat u DID turn 2 people 4 help. but they didnt? i dunno? did they take you seriously? did they bother 2 show dat they cared? DID they care?

u were always so cheerful, mayb dats why people never took it seriously? i was never really close 2 u but u were always such a joy 2 be wif. whenever in group settings u'd get bullied and amazingly u never gt angry. u'll juz smile, take the jokes in ur stride and play along. remember dat video of us all laughing, u included. dat video never fails 2 make me tear.

i'd heard before dat u were often quite insecure, but never thought much of it cuz i gt along okay wif u. how i wished i tried 2 get 2 noe u better. u might still be wif us?

i miss you so. why did you haf 2 do dat?? if oni you stayed. was it school related? or was it a buildup of everything, including this community we shared?

good mood 2day!(: okay kinda la. gt gd gt bad

early morning i woke up when the sun wasnt up yet and i gt all worried cuz i thought i overslept (i gt work). raise my head 2 look and de surroundings is like still darkdark 1=D means still can go back 2 slp!! and gd news is dat it isnt those *dozing off~~~ RINGGGG!!* ok never will haf a RINGGG! cuz my mummy is my alarm clock. hahahahas=D ANYWAY! de thing is dat i gt 2 enjoy more sleep!(:

den woke up and went 2 weewee. and brush teeth. and eat my waffle(: i dunno why when i say eat my waffle i get a mental picture of a fat little hamster nomming on a tiny piece of waffle. ANYWAY!! oni managed 2 eat finish half cuz my stomach was feeling blah=(

told my mummy, and made a sad face at her. den she follow me make sad face and den she patpat my head!! LOVELOVE!! hahahahahas(: i love people patting/ruffling my hair!! hahahahahahas. like sayang-ing me liddat<3 hahahahahas

so den went off 2 bathe and prepare. reached work, and its mx and jessica's last day!! dun like them=( pangseh me onii=( hahas i niam like nobody's business!!

den off 2 lg!! i noe it was not nice of me, bt i dun care much anymore. i dun wanna care hw people see/judge me (not doing well)

basically after work i went 2 lg which was at longjohns. i dun care if i say things 0ut here, cuz obviously its VERILY OBVIOUS dat im not gonna go lg anymore? ok if it wasnt obvious, de previous sentence made it obvious.

1st thing i realised, there is no space left 4 me. its exactly 8seater and im de ninth. ok nvm so i sit. didnt eat cuz my stomach tells me no fried food cuz its feeling blah. den after dat during all de chatting i was feeling so awkward i kept locking and unlocking my phone juz so i'll haf something 2 do

den after dat sarah was done and she msged me so i used an excuse 2 go toilet. they were starting 2 do the "write ur name on the paper and pass it ard 2 write encouragements for others" thing. initially they say ut. i say i gt no ut and kept the paper. den they said general encouragements can oso and tried 2 make me stop keeping it but i kept it and escaped 2 de toilet. actually 2 find sarah.

den discussed wif sarah hw i really wanted 2 leave and she suggested me taking my bag and saying i meet fren since its true. so i did dat. and stunned every1. nt a very nice thing 2 do, but im freaking selfish ok? i juz walked out wifout a second glance.

den ate prawn mee wif sarah cuz i was hungry bt my stomach was rejecting fried and oily food. so ate and purposely went late 2 svc cuz i didnt wanna sit wif de grp. so sat behind wif sarah, cheryl etc. cuz cheryl oso late. so all sat 2gether.

den i didnt wanna join my grp 4 dinner either so i asked sarah and sarah asked ruth! so become sarah ruth and i dinner. and we dinnered at xinwang!!(: happy cuz i finally gt 2 spend time wif them. long time never see them(: ok la. actually nt. juz dat its spending time wif people i love u'kno?

den backie home!! mummy come 2 de busstop 2 fetch me!! heehee(:

AND THEN went swimming on friday!! im so tanned now im SO HAPPY!!!(:

stupid zg check in and write at least 20laps. in de end we oni swam 7!! i noe i noe, its kinda cui but nvm i jogged de day before (equally cui. 3.6km in 35mins-.-)

BUT ITS OK!! and den after swimming we kfc-ed-.- all de 7laps gone down de drain. den off 2 work. these 2days work really kinda chiong cuz of holidays, no work so they had a week's worth of hw='( survived(: bt MX AND JESSICA LEFT!! hmpf

OK BYE!

while at dinner 2day, randomly started on the topic (which i regularly think of) of "when i am married and haf kids"

me: I NOE!! next time when i haf kids i'll stay nearby or same few blocks so i can do the whole *face lights up* LETS GO DOWNSTAIRS TO AHMA HOUSE FOR DINNER!! (hahas cuz i cant cook)

sis: OH THEN U CAN ALSO DO THE LETS GO JOGGING DEN GO AHMA HOUSE BATHE AND THEN EAT DINNER!! waste their water!!

me: yea.. i heard from my fren (eileen) who is studying in early childhood dat u should bring ur kids 0ut at least twice....so....LUNCH AND DINNER LA?! HAHAHAHAHA!!

sis: and saturday let them STAYOVER LA? den sunday ALL 3 FULL MEALS at ahma house. den at nite den bring them home cuz next day gt school!!

me: YA and if my husband's parents can cook EVEN BETTER!! alternate!!

HAHAHAHA ok seriously, im such a cheapo and so auntie!! hahas. ok la. wad i SHOULD do is learn how 2 cook. but i scared of fire leh?

HAHA told my mummy and she laugh till her eyes are 2 lines. HAHAHAHA!!

where has the happy girl gone to? where is the happy girl?

i hate it. cuz i love you.

feeling kinda pekchek abt ushering. more and more each time. seriously sia. this time round we served 3 consecutive days. cuz hope conference its both teams. bt before dat oso 0ur team wad!! ok. i'll stop ranting now.

rant abt similar bt nt de same thing. like seriously la. PLEASE FOR GOODNESS SAKE REPLY ME WHEN I TEXTED YOU!! its so late alr. dun tell me u haven see. its been at least 2hrs? and wad can u do at this time sia. dun tell me work or wadevernots la hor. & dun tell me u sleep at 930pm?? seriously.

and i dunno whether the number of wrong anot 4 de leader. de leader oso never reply. PEKCHEK SIA.

why issit always liddat. when i wanted roles/responsibility they never ever gimme. den when im nt doing well and dun wan, they heap loadsa stuffs on me. (ok la actually really nt alot. but im ranting wad!)

but hope conference i really didnt serve much. i dunno. i juz gt so intimidated by every1 rushing in and everything. owells. its overr. and i was so tired cuz i didnt get much sleep so i slept through0ut all the teachings etc. oni during the start and end needa usher dat time den i usher. otherwise u can find me at the seats behind sleeping. HAHA. & drooling. I DROOLED!! too tired la. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

ok. in essence im pekchek over people who dun reply when it's urgent. OK. bye. and im feeling so super blah=(

rawr!!

it means iloveyou in dinosaur(: HAHAHAHAHA!! i think its so cute!! imagine next time my future bf tell me "rawr!!" HAHAHAHAHA!! sweet max uh? HAHAHAHA

(i found this 0ut thru mlia. HAHAHA mlia rocks!!(:)

randomly saw on tumblr(asdfghjkllove)

"I want a hug. Like one of those pick-me-up-off-my-feet-squeeze-me-tight-hurts-my-tummy-but-makes-me-smile-leaves-me-breathless-gives-me-so-many-butterflies-it-makes-me-laugh kind of hug"

TOTALLY.

arms are kinda aching now!! after 2 consecutive laps of "hands-only" yesterday.

sure tested my limits! zg mad 1. he swam 3 consecutive laps, hands only.

den dedrick swam normally cuz he juz learnt swimming

like very suan now sia=( didnt get much more tanned but at least i gt 2 swim!! swam a maximum of 6laps oni tho=( but its alrite(:

raced zg and i won!! actually i noe its nt fair de la. HAHAHA!! 1st thing is i started a little earlier den him. dedrick said go and den i pushed off immediately but i kinda heard zg going "huh?" but i continued swimming. HAHAHAHA!! so means he started late. den somemore before dat he swam 3 consecutive laps while i swam 2!! so while he was swimming his 3rd lap i was resting alr. HAHAHAHA so confirm gt more energy!! but i dun care! i won!! HAHAHAHAHA!! unfair win, but still win. =p

i gt mozzie bites!! from sleeping in the living room=( so now i moved back 2 my room 2 sleep. i like sleeping in the living room cuz its always windy and nice(: but it rained yesterday and i gt mozzie bites=( so i moved back 2 my room and coughed my lungs 0ut in the middle of the nite=( so much 4 recovering!!=(

im so bored sia!=(

life is awesome 2day(:

ok la. nt really. i had an awesome dream. but in the same awesome dream whr something which made me really happy happened, something which made me really sad happened too. actually 2 sad things happened, and 1 happy thing happened. i cant really find the balance cuz its a dream so i was oni really sad abt the thing dat wasnt exactly so impt.

de less impt sad thing is dat this person whom i dunno rite now in real life, in my dream i gt 2 noe her and she HATES ME TO THE CORE. like REALLY hate. de more impt sad thing is too personal 2 say here. and the happy thing is oso too personal 2 say here..

ANYWAY! dats so nt de point!! de thing is i woke up, nua de whole day ANDDDDD!! ate bak kut teh (is dat hw u spell it?) for DINNER!! me likey!!

AND THEN!!!! WATCHED A WONG FEIHONG SHOW ON TV!! omg. its wong feihong leh. JET LI LEH HELLO!! HAHAHA!! like now my fav(: gt donnie yen oso somemore!! bt jet li now my fav. cuz donnie yen too overexposed now. so me no likey anymore. HAHAHAHA

HAPPY DAY!(:

my throat dying=( seemed perfectly fine previously but den after night comes, it starts up again=( and my antibiotics finish liao!!=(

and didnt even getta swim 2day=( initially yishun swimming complex. too crowded so luckily we hadnt gone in. looked from the outside. so decided 2 go yck 2 swim instead. den while at the mrt statio platform deciding whether 2 get 0ut anot cuz it was REALLY cloudy. so zg say he check using his IPHONE. -.- HAHAHAHA!! den checked 2day is CLOUDY. but rite after dat it was raining behind me. den he was like "mel. look behind"

TOTALLY SOBS!!

so trained back 2 yishun and went 2 safra 2 pool. tho cannot pool at the pool place. hahas. pooled at the bowling place. aiya hard 2 explain. den i lost=(((

hahas. actually expected. den bused back 2 northpoint, lunched, and den he went off 2 meet his frenz and i went off 2 work.

and superly cranky at work=(

i think i've reached my limit. i dont think i can really continue 2 work very well there. seriouslyy

me: *reading random stuffs online*

mum: *comes up behind me SUPER SLOWLY*

*pokes*

me: hmm?

mum: 不可以变酒鬼啊!

me: HUH? 为什么你这么random??

mum: 没有拉.跟你讲而已lor.

?!?! HAHAHAHAHA!!

PARDON MY HORRIBLE CHINESE YA!

did a random thinking abt how different these 2 weeks were. anyway!

was chatting randomly wif yh and talk until he ask me faster find a husband and haf a few kids. den i was like YA BUT NEEDA FIND RITE!! den he suggested: go supermarket and look at guys who buy veggie CUZ GUYS WHO BUY VEGGIE = CAN COOK. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! seriously?! HAHA!!

yes, still in the iwantabfmood.

IM STILL SICK!! so im still in the i-want-a-bf mood!!

hahas!!

and i realised when im sick i gt almost no patience. seriously. these 2days ever since i gt sick i've been snapping at the kids quite easily. but dats oso cuz they haf always been the ones on my nerves since previously. the rest i dont fierce so much. but regardless, i still think dat now im being much stricter and i kinda dun care. i mean seriously?! my throat hurts like nobody's business and they're having a hell good time being noisy. so naturally i snap at them!!

yea. when im sick im easily irritable and cranky. =(

hypothesis proven: whenever im feeling sick i always wan a bf.

=( and now im sick!! and i keep wishing i gt bf. HAHAHAHA!! 2 takecare of me!!=( hahas but i noe its sorta kinda nt possible. i can wish but. dats all i can do lor.

never had the habit of keeping a diary cuz i always blog things up. but now i realise dat having a diary is kinda important, so im gonna write in a ARTBOX notebook!! its beautiful and i oni haf 1 so i really couldnt bear 2 write in it lest i spoil it, but im gonna write anyway! if nt buy alr never use? hahas. but muz write nicely lor. cuz everytime i write in books i scribble and its super darn ugly. den i stop writing in them cuz its nt pleasing 2 de eyes. but i'll try 2 maintain nice handwriting this time!!(:

personal diary. (:

It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I... I'm with you
I'm with you

please take me away.

saw this on cheryl's fb and totally agree wif it!!

"Rule #1 : NEVER make someone your priority , when to them , you are just another choice."

TOTALLY AGREES.

*walking around the house flapping my shirt 2 make some breeze*

"wuoah. so hot.."

*thinks*

*walks 2 the fridge*

*opens the fridge*

"woah. AIRCON!(:"

*leans in 2 look 4 food and enjoy the "aircon"*

den i realised how dumb i sounded. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! but its ok!

kinda funny. i dun even bother 2 hide de fact dat im having problems wif my besties. but the funniest thing is dat 0utta 3 of them, 2 of them are oblivious. isnt it amazing? i dont noe wads going on in their lives either. but its kinda ok, cuz i feel like im gonna leave church soon? i dunno. im typing it here cuz i dun care wad people think anymore.

the only thing dat was holding me back and keeping me isnt really holding me back anymore. infact i want out. out from everything.

*hears the skies rumbling*

me: *GASPS* DON'T RAIN!!

even tho i got totally no mood 2 go jogging but please still!! im trying 2 get myself 2 go jogging. in abt 30mins time i will be sure whether im gonna jog. cuz in 30mins time if im still sitting on the chair means not jogging alr. HAHAHAHAHA!! oh shit man.=(

update(12:01am, 7july): i DID jog. and 5km somemore(: good job mel! good job! *pats back* sprinted the last 200m!(:

read thru old blogposts and i miss shengpeng and jh. HAHAHAHA

and sz and i did countdown 4 deanna's bdae. HAHAHAHA!! actually went 2 google singapore timing so could countdown. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

5 and a half years since any guy liked me? hahas. yeaps. kinda depressing huuh.

i guess its how i am. im nt exactly the type of girl guys would like cuz im violent? i dunno. hahahahahas. basically im not the demure type of girl la. guys like demure gals rite? and guys wif long hair. HAHAHAHA. serious. i asked b4 and most guys say they prefer girls wif long hair.

BUT!! im gonna continue being myself even tho it means no guy will like me now. its alrite. im gonna grow and mature at my own pace. and i kinda like how i am now. at least im happy being some crazy girl who's always laughing, burping and wadnots. tho thr's definitely lotsa things i dislike abt myself but still!! i like being happy(: tho im not often happy. OK WADEVER!

anyway! yeaps. im gonna continue being violent, loud and wadnots. cuz i wanna be liked for who i am. (: besides, i haf my frenz ard me!!(:

at the end of the day; i think im really thankful 4 the people ard me who console me when im down♥

hahas i actually accidentally woke my fren up cuz i didnt remember it was like 3am?! and msged him and woke him up but he continued msging till i told him i was ok(:

and crying like some little babie and having people ard getting worried. and lending me their shoulders and tissues. HAHA!! im fine, i swear(: i juz needed 2 get it 0ut. plus things always look better after a good cry. tho im not totally ok but im fine. plus its oni small thing la. juz dat its important 2 me.

ubin (wednesday) and astons(thursday) 0uting!! hahas. awesomenessssssssssssssss

(tho i didnt get 2 kayak cuz de person working at ubin thr didnt allow)

ANYWAY! met at 930 at paya lebar and thought i was major late. turns 0ut i was EXACTLY on time. awesomeness!!(:

anyway! so we trained 2 tanah merah 2 take bus number 2 to changi village thr. reached thr and zg was like "mel. this reminds me of sundown!" den i was like omg yesss!! i wish every saturday was sundown day. HAHAHAHAHA!! i swear!! cuz sundown was SO AWESOME!! i love the concept of sundown; running at such a late timing yet the feeling's so awesome. nikerun is my best timing (hard 2 compare actually cuz sundown is 21km while nikerun and realrun is 10km) but sundown is my fav concept. whr u're running while the rest of the people in singapore are like i dunno. sleeping etc.

ok sidetracked. back 2 topic! ate nasi lemak and den off 2 take de awesome boat ride! i LOOOOOOOOVE boatrides! so anyway! den reached and den we set off 2 rent bikes!! woohoo!! 5bucks 4 de bike. cheap max cans. den went off cycling!! im sad cuz i didnt manage 2 conquer the slopes!! like up slopes i struggled and all. couldnt get up and i was kinda sad cuz i exercise yet i cannot get up the slopes. den exercise for wad?! ok nvm. HAHAHAHA

den reached quarry but den amy haven reached. so we cycled further and started playing. jumpshots etc=D

den after dat cycled 2 buy drinks and thr was sudden rain!! mood dampened. but luckily it stopped soon after and spirits gt lifted=D

anyway! while waiting 4 de rain 2 stop we were trying 2 bite a hole into our drink cans. like bite a hole at the side so we drink from the side and dun open de can. HAHAHA!! deanna super funny. after biting 4 a long time, she said smt like "dun u think after biting something so hard ur teeth like gonna drop 0ut? i feel like i needa bite something soft" and started chewing on her teeshirt. SUPER EPIC AND SUPER CUTE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! making me laugh 2 myself juz thinking abt it. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!

den went off 2 find amy cuz their truck drove past us. den YESSSSSSSSS!! faster gt into some random shoe at thr, den wear lifevest and INTO THE WATER!! AWESOMENESS!! helped the ubin team setup as well. cuz oni 1 person could go into de water. for i dunno wad reason. doesnt matter. as long as i had fun and i was helpful for once=D

den YESS!!! jumpshot into the water. de 1st time classic. 3 of us (me deanna zg) prepared. den we jumped in and den realised dat deanna DIDNT jump in and was on the pontoon laughing away. HAHAHAHA!! den we were like "WAH LAU DEANNAAAAAAAAA!!" HAHAHAHA!! but anyway dat was a failed jumpshot. alot of fails. HAHAHAHAHA!! den de pass 1 i jump till so ugly=( as in into de water. gt 1 nice 1 i juz jump on the pontoon. dat 1 now my fb dp. MUAHAHAHAHA

den im veh proud of siewping!!(: she overcame her fear!! cuz she dunno hw 2 swim. naturally will scared water. they managed 2 persuade her into doing a solo jump into the water and she did!! so proud of her sia. if its me and its my fear i confirm wont. no matter hw much they try 2 convince me.

AND she gt into the water 2 play wif us too!! tho she was scared but it's still a huge step!!(:

and den went toilet wif amy and sz into the solar powered toilets. HAHAHA!! super funny. the water is brownish 1. den i was like "EEEE THE WATER IS BROWN!" den i went 0ut. den while going 2 wash hand, amy told me de tap water will oso be brown. den i was like OMG SERIOUS???? den wash. lucky its quite clear. *whew*

den went 2 bathe after a super long time of nua-ing in the water!! sneaked into the chalet thr 2 bathe. the water is cui 1. so tiny. de 1st 1 i went somemore no water. i had 2 change cubicles AFTER i took off all my clothes.-.- hadta wear back again.

den cycled back and den boat rided back!! went 2 eat at carls junior!! at marina square. before dat pooled and de stick like so heavy=( but its ok! cuz i still managed 2 do quite well. tho every1 dat day had epic fails. HAHAHA!! my 1st ever hit the ball jump OVER the ball i wanted 2 hit. so free ball-.- HAHAHA

but anyway! den carls juniored and dedrick came 2 join us. but he late. super duper late. HAHA. he come i eat finish alr. amazing rite! means he super late

den after eating went home sweet home!!(:

den 2day(thursday. i noe its friday now but im still considering it thursday cuz i haven slp) went 0ut wif deanna and eileen!! astons-ed and had very random catchup!! was fun meeting them up!! next time siewping join us kay?!=D den deanna had 2 head off after astons so we pei her 2 mrt station den continued walking ard=D

ate icecream!! at cold stone. awesomes but ex. but so cool luhh!! sinful tho. HAHAHAHAHA!! 20laps 2morrow la. hahahahas. anyway! den chit chat all de way. den abt 2 go home. went toilet 1st. den while going up de escalator 2 go 2 lvl 1 to walk to mrt station, eileen suddenly went "eh mel. can we go down again? SHOES FOR 15BUCKS!!"

den i looked and was like "OMG SHOES FOR 15BUCKS?! FASTER GO DOWN!!"

HAHA and we rushed down and in de end we both bought shoes. i so bimbo cans. dun need shoes still buy. bt nvm me likey! so i'll wear. i swear=D

den home sweet home!!(: and my mummy cooked stingray and didnt leave any 4 me!! i was so sad!!=( cuz its so awesome!!!!=( but i niam her till she finally said she'll cook it 4 me 2morrow!! yayness!! cuz im de oni 1 dinnering at home. YAYYY!! ALL MINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!♥

OK NITEZ!(:

finished reading "Somebody Else's Kids" from 1 of my fav author-Torey Hayden

this is a part which really touched me

"I don't see why people bother to care about anything. All it does is hurt you in the end. All you did was make me like you and now I wish I never did because I don't want to miss you. I spend my whole fucking life missing people. I'm never going to like anybody again."

"You're right there. It does hurt. Loving people always does hurt. It's part of the deal, I think."

"It hurts too much. It isn't worth it. I'm never going to like anybody again. Then I don't have to worry."

I watched him huddled on the floor of the closet.

"Yes, Tom, you're right about that too. If you never love anybody, you'll never have a broken heart. But Tom, that's not what hearts were made for."

went jogging wif zg 2day!! at his house area. its like some agreed fact dat whenever its swimming he comes over and when its jogging i go over. but apparently he said he found dat thr's some swimming complex v little people. dun needa squish wif ALOT of people!!

anyway! so i reached. anyway i late 6mins but he made me go back home after i was downstairs, to get my goggles 2 lend him. TSK. HAHAHAHA!! anyway. its a miracle dat i was oni 6mins late actually. i thought i was ALREADY late. even before getting his goggles. anyway!

den rite. reached and went jog. jog 2 bedok reservoir instead this time. oni jogged thr. walked back. but before dat i saw swings and i told zg i wanna swing!! so he hadta pei me. HAHAHAHA. me love swings!!

so den swingswingswing. and we both dun dare 2 swing too high cuz gt fear. hahahah. den after dat back, shower, eat.

he veh mean.

me: *niam-ing about anything and everything*

him: mel can i slap u?

me: u dare? (oni jasper dare wad!!)

him: *lightly slaps my face*

me: U SLAP ME?! U SLAAAAAAAAAAAAP ME?!

him: no la. dat 1 not slap. dat 1 sayang.

me: WAH LAU!! I SAYANG U OSO LA?! *starts trying 2 slap him*

den he cover his face-.- so i hit his head lor=D

hahas. v random but super fun. and before dat i was irritating him by dragging my words and giving them funny tunes. HAHAHAHA he was so irritated he plug in his earpiece and started singing 2 cover my voice. den i gt louder and louder and he sang louder and louder-.-

HAHAHAHAHA!!

and i say him pangseh kia cuz he pangsehh!! ubin, those who noe will noe. HAHAHAHA.

den rushed off 2 work!! 2day was an okay day. super irritating kid at work. i literally fierce him. i kinda dun care. like very AA. i HATE AA kids. gt another 1 oso kinda AA. so i juz ignore him when he trying 2 get attention. but de super irritating 2 i really cannot tahan. so fierce him. but still, he continue-.-

and 2day both cuties came too!! hahas. but i oni get 2 see oni. never get 2 take them their verbal testing=( but its ok! hahahahas=D

ok. nitez=D

UBIN ON WEDNESDAY!! my v 1st time kayaking. me excited!! 1person kayak 4 me cuz SOMEONE pangseh. ya. i never point fingers. but ya. like READ THE TOP. den will noe. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ok la! i wan 1person kayak!! seems fun!!(:

a genuine smile comes from the heart

and you can tell whether a smile is genuine or not.

or maybe the person is just too good at wearing the mask.

2 myself, but blogging it 0ut so im literally talking 2 myself and when i read back it reminds me again.

mel, be independant. cuz the people who are here for you now may walk away anytime. and you can walk away anytime too. dont look back once you walk away cuz once u've made the decision to walk away then dont regret it.

its an emo life but i kinda understand how it works. if you dont let any1 get close enough 2 hurt you, then you'll never get hurt!

sidenote; i needa start exercising by myself too. like jogging after work. getting slack.

i will be independant. i'll stop thinking about ever falling in love cuz its better 2 go on wif life and den when the right one comes then its a pleasant surprise. rather than keep waiting and get your life stuck thr. i noe. its easy 2 say cuz till now i still wish i had a bf. but i'll b strong and do wad i wanna do. i'll b independant and anybody who cant accept me for who i am, juz go away. cuz i dont want any1 putting up wif me. either you love me or you leave me alone. tyvm. either you make me feel welcome, or you totally dun smile at me at all. tyvvvvvm.

because im a freaking insecure bitch about friendships.

and i dont like you. even though i dont even know you. amazing right? call it woman's intuition.

From The Tiger's Child
"When i was little, you called me lovey. And tiger. And sweetheart. What was I then that I'm not now?"

From HSM2
"..but plans change and people change.."

Bet on it lyrics
"...Did you ever push away the ones
You should've held close?
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?

...Did you ever
Doubt your dream will ever come true?
Did you ever
Blame the world and never blame you?
I will never
Try to live a lie again
I Don't wanna win this game
If i can't play it MY WAY"

really feel like going mia soon and VERY soon. but its ok cuz. i dunno. cuz people wont care anyway.

anyway, went swimming 2day wif zg again. cuz we're exercise buddies!! hahas. seriously. i started slacking AGAIN. dat time i actually went jogging after work but this week i oni exercised twice and both times wif him and super little-.- jogging we jogged less den 2km. i think. HAHAHAHA!! more time spent walking 2 buy drink and walking back 2 his house.

anyway!! den 2day swimming. new swimsuit!! i nt so comfy in it. prefer de previous 1. but this 1 de strap thinner=CAN TAN MORE!! woohoo!!

*urhmph* anyway! so went swimming and then swam 5laps. funny thing is we actually met earlier den last week. and then we still started swimming at the same time cuz de pool was too crowded so we actually sat down and nua and talk for ONE HOUR. amazing rite!!

me: wah we met earlier but in the end we talk 1hr!

zg: ya!! but if u realise rite...in this 1hour..all we talked is...

(gifs a very dramatic pause)

crap.

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YA!!

even now i dun rmb wad we talked abt. but i guess dats the thing abt crap. u wont rmb cuz its not impt. HAHAHAHA

den swam 5laps and den my goggles broke. ZOMG!! major sobs cans?! my fav sia!=(

den hadta wear my another goggles which is too big 4 me and den water keeps going in.

den swim 1 lap of hands oni. me likey!! cuz i always feel dat i gt exercise when i swim wif hands. like tired ma!! tired = gt exercise lor!!

den bathe. he v bad. gimme 20mins 2 bathe nia. lucky i managed. HAHA i always bathe 30mins at home!!

den ate fishballs. i love eating fishballs after swimming!! cuz from young everytime after swimming i'll eat fishballs!! so its like tradition now=D

den went off 2 eat chicken rice!! the AWESOME chicken rice=D

den chitchat and gossip. even talk all de way till when we were having fyp!! awesomes.

den i go work and he go home. HAHAHAHAHA!!

AND I GOT TANNED!! so imma supa dupa happy girl!!

on a sidenote, the bestfriend thing still hurts. but yeaps. i noe. every1's entitled 2 choose who they wanna spend time wif. and i oso noe dat things arent as close now and u all have closer frenz. i juz wished i had too. someone 2 turn 2 when im down. when im crying and need some1 2 text and they'll console me despite it all. someone who's always on my side spurring me on.

u'kno. the one who is like THIS-->A good friend would bail you outta jail, but a best friend would be sittin’ next to ya sayin’ "we screwed up, but we had fun doin it!"

hahas yeaps. but im really thankful 4 afew people in my life(:

they arent bestfriends but they're awesome friends all de same! (talkin abt recently of cuz. nt abt like LONGLONG time ago etc)

and they are siewping deanna mx zg yuhan cedric. HAHAHAHA!! i noe! weird list.

siewping is cuz we grew closer after sch ended!! so yeaps!

deanna is cuz she randomly leaves comments on my wall whenever i seem 2 b down etc

mx is cuz of work im always telling her stuffs. RANDOM stuffs. HAHAHAHA!!

zg is cuz he's my exercise buddy

yuhan is cuz seriously he's a very random bt gd listening ear!! seriously random. but really appreciated cuz sometimes when i put kinda emo nicks on fb my frenz dun ask but he, some1 who i dun contact on a regular basis, might randomly comment and ask me 2 tell him more. KAYPOH SIA.

HAHAHAHA!! (btw he sgt alr sia)

and cedric is cuz whenever he seems my emo fb posts he'll sms and ask wad happened. HAHA. i rmb once i lied 2 him cuz he asked me wad happened and it was church related but i told him it was work related. but he sent me an encouraging sms anyway! asking me nt 2 ever gif up but 2 press on. appreciated!!

ok. ends. im grateful 4 these random people in my life. and im tanner den previously!!

went sentosa suntan!! earliest 2day. i noe!! its amazing isnt it?! 1st time ever ok. since its so early.

anyway! gd dat i reached early too. i desperately needed 2 shit. cuz i ate my mummy's AWESOME FRIED CHILLI FISH!! definitely worth the stomachache!!

den shit. and went 2 topup card. met siewping and den deanna and den zg came after. while we were at giant buying snacks and wadnots. hahahas. he late king. still dare ask me dun late yesterday nite. SEE!! how dare u siaaa. nag at me somemore. AHAHAHAHA!!

anyway! den reached sentosa and raced zg. duhh definitely i lost. den suntan!! de sun initially hot. den when we tanning den not hot. den suddenly hot!! den it was so hot i used my chips 2 cover my eyes (the whole packet) so my eyes wont hurt. after dat challenge zg 2 consecutive cartwheels and i won!! cuz he stop each time l0r-.- means nt consecutive le rite!! den went into de water. SUPERLY cool. i swear!! but i think i swim dat time never kick properly luh uh. now my ASS HURTS. a little la. anyway!!

den swam 2 de other side. chitchat wif zg. den swam back. den decided 2 race running in de water. i lost cuz he CHEATED. we stop halfway cuz i gt amazed by crab. den suddenly he walk walk den went "i 4gt 2 tell u. THE RACE IS STILL ON!!" *splashes and runs away*

WAD THE CANS!! so see. oso nt my fault i lost

den went 2 some business building 2 eat astons cuz deanna's fren work thr. siewping super cute sia!!

siewping: he (referring 2 deanna's fren who is a twin) how old?

deanna: 18

siewping: ohh..den his brother lehh?

all of us totally laughed like mad and den told her "twins leh!!"

HAHAHAHA!! but she so innocent. so funnyy! hahahahas=D

den after dat bus-ed 2 town and play pool!! fun sia!! im nt gd at it and every1 keeps helping me so its fun!!(:

OK ANYWAY! now i needa shit.=D

2morrow suntanning!! im superly excited cans!! and of cuz im gonna bring my cap. de 1 i bought from taiwan!! i love it but i abit paiseh 2 wear cap ard la. juz seems weird. HAHAHAHAHA!! but sentosa, gt sun. so can rite!! HAHAHAHA!! wear 1 actact nia. suntan confirm take 0ut de rite?!

heehee

and i super feel like giving up on love and focus on loving my frenz instead. seriously. its been quite a few months since i last liked someone and tho i always wished i had someone 1 like but i oso wan the person 2 like me back rite?? so actually its better dat i dun haf any1 dat i like now. cuz anyway people i like never like me back de lor. so ok la. hahas

and goodness. i haven packed 4 2morrow suntan. HAHA!!

yesterday went 2 my grandma house 2 celebrate fathers day wif my extended family. den after dinner we started talking about when we were kids.

and we really laugh like mad.

1st i started by saying my mum once told me when i was very young i wanted 2 help her carry her stuffs 4 her (groceries) so she let me. den i v short so i drag on de ground so she hadta take it back from me.

den become why im called "bing bong biang" by my grandpa. and den concluded dat cuz everytime my mummy or any1 else drop things i'll go "bing bong biang!" and den rush 2 pick it up. HAHAHAHA!! den my dad said i loved picking things up. last time when i went his fren house he throw rubbish (im assuming wrappers) on de floor and ask me pick up and i'll zoom alr picking them up. SO BAD RITE!! HAHAHAHA!!

den i was like im so gong meh?! den my mummy suddenly laughed and said i was so gong dat i let my sis use those laundry clips 2 clip my ear. somemore can pose 4 pictures. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! and cuz no1 knew it was painful and i was too dumb, so i didnt say anything. HAHAHA!! (btw de dumb is i myself say de)

and my dad started saying how i'll always run and JUMP onto his back and yell "TAXI TAXI!!" cuz i wan him 2 piggyback me into my room. now i noe why i love piggybacks so much(:

den i remember even if i wanna go toilet i'll still jump on his back and he piggyback me 2 my room den i run 2 de toilet=D so can get my piggyback(:

I LOVE IT WHEN I WAS A KIDDDDDDDDDDD!! and i miss those times.

i swear, if i ever get a bf he's gonna hafta piggyback me everywhere. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ESPECIALLY if he sends me home and walks de path beside the big drain. CONFIRM wan piggyback. cuz less people, nt so paiseh. and dun needa walk de path somemore. HAHAHAHAHA!! yeaps. i'll force my future bf 2 piggyback me all de time. HAHAHAHA!! (note2self:get a bf who doesnt haf any back problems)

muz go swimming every week!! den i'll get more and more tanned(: happy sia!! i thought i didnt get tanned but turns 0ut i did!! HAPPY!!

anyway! met zg at like 1020 at yishun swimming complex cuz he LATE. actually i oso gonna b late but he say 1st ma. so his fault dat we meet late lor.

den somemore i buy 100plus 4 him leh. seriously. im so nice. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! den he niam me bathe v long. so bad rite?

anyway! den change, put bag down and into de pool!! somemore de weather good sia. gt sun. but de sun pms la. keep hiding. too many clouds. dats why i thought i wont get tanned much

ANYWAY! we decided 2 swim from 1030-1. so means 2 and a half hours of swimming. and 0ur goal is 15laps. sounds ok rite?

here's de awesome thing. HAHAHA. we spent 1hr swimming 10laps (the last 1hr) and den de 1 and a half hour before dat we spent swimming 5laps+chit chatting. we v power rite?

wad we talked abt

me: eh lets go overseas lehh!!

zg: i oso wan! but hard la (explains dat de clique is busy)

me: ya lor..every1 busy..but i wanna go overseas lehh!!

zg: i oso!! i wanna go phuket!!

me: i oso!! i wanna go batam/bintan/phuket/SAIPAN ISLAND/bali.

(continues awhile, den silence)

.

.

.

.

a few mins later-

me: EH GO OVERSEAS LEHH!!

zg: i oso wan!! (starts excitedly talking abt phuket and krabi when he went, de snorkelling)

me: wah lau! i oso wan!!

.

.

.

a few mins later-

me: EH GO OVERSEAS LEHH!!

zg: i oso wan!! (starts talking abt genting and de weather)

.

.

.

and it goes on and on and on. same topic we talk so long-.- repeated somemore. i niam him abt something once in awhile den we talktalk again

den he went toilet

den after coming back

zg: i think rite, after swimming my stomach empty den will wobble. wobble wobble wobble den gt tsunami...

den i juz listen rite?

den

zg: den tsunami tsunami tsunami! (splashes super alot of water at me)

me: WAH LAU EH!!-.-

ok den we swam finish den bathe. den he niam me cuz i bathe VERY LONG. actually not very lor-.- quite oni. less den half an hour leh. plus i say meet 0utside at 130 i 2mins late oni. tsk. nt gentleman

den ate at kfc-.- our 15laps gone sia liddat

plus yesterday i ate buffet at nihon murai wif me dumbs, and den icecream (super sinful sia) wif them and den latenite dinner (or supper) at macs, MCWINGS MEAL.

hahas. seriously. but im SUPER happy abt my tan and de fact dat i swam 15laps.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ok. 2morrow gt fav kid!!(:

1 very good reason why i never managed 2 quit. i never can bear 2 leave cuz of the kids!!=( TOO CUTEE!!

recently keep thinking of meteor garden songs. hahas. de song in my previous previous blogpost oso is from meteor garden de. den i went 2 listen 2 i cant help falling in love with you in chinese and the lilo and stitch video was so cute!! makes me wish i watched it when it was 0ut in cinemas!!

den i went 2 listen 2 this song which i was initially trying 2 find but stumbled on the i cant help falling in love song and sidetracked awhile

情非得已

難以忘記初次見你　一雙迷人的眼睛
在我腦海裡　你的身影　揮散不去
握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔
真的有點透不過氣　
你的天真　我想珍惜
看到你受委屈　我會傷心

只怕我自己會愛上你
不敢讓自己靠的太近
怕我沒什麼能夠給你　
愛你也需要很大的勇氣
只怕我自己會愛上你　
也許有天會情不自禁
想念只讓自己苦了自己　
愛上你是我情非得已

什麼原因　我竟然又會遇見你
我真的真的不願意　
就這樣陷入愛的陷阱

i miss the times when my besties felt like besties. not now when they only feel like besties in name.

你要的爱

虽然经常梦见你 还是毫无头绪
外面正在不着雨 今天是星期几
I don't know 你去那里

虽然不曾怀疑你 还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一 原谅我怀疑自己

我明白我要的爱 会把我宠坏
像一个小孩只懂在你怀里坏
你要的爱 不只是依赖
要像个大男孩 风吹又日晒
生活自由自在


tho this post is like not referring 2 any1, but i juz especially like the lyrics in red

i feel like crying. but its kinda unexplainable. too complicated? its tied 2 my previous post.

i dunno la. seriously dunno. juz feel like crying, feel very down, very emo.

overseas please? batam bintan phuket redang island?

anything? anywhr? as long as overseas whr i can totally be free from everything? PLEASE?

i've decided dat im gonna hafta start preparing 2 be all alone in wadever i do. prepare myself.

cuz u'kno wad? define BEST FRIEND for me.

dun say the ones who are always thr 4 me. they arent. infact more often den not they're the ones dat i see pics/posts etc on fb having fun and den get hurt because i never seem 2 b in their lives. when im all sad and they dun console me. when i need someone thr and im confiding in you and you freaking change de damn topic. yes. im particularly talking about ONE person for the changing of topic.

anyway. best friend? i dont seem 2 haf any. i dont want any drinking session cuz i noe im gonna be left out. i'll stick wif drinking wif my clique. at the very least i feel like i belong.

and who was there for me when i needed someone to talk 2 abt my uni application thing? none of the people i call best friends. my clique was thr. i never called them my best friends. they were my very very very close friends only. in fact the person who cared the most was just a good friend. goodness.

thanks.

no doubt i noe i haven been active in their lives either, but if i happen 2 see sad posts on fb i comment/ask. COME ON DAMMIT. u dont even need 2 meet me up. juz drop me an ENCOURAGING msg can anot?

now i dont even feel like ranting 2 my so called besties ever again.

and i miss my clique so much rite now. bt i noe its also a matter of time before it splits up 4 gd cuz we dont meetup.

really pissed now

me(in chinese): mummy i used 2 haf this bright blue sports bra. now cannot find alr. u noe whr issit not?

mum: 不在那边(my drawer) meh? 不在就没有了lor.

THANKS ALOT. seriously.

kinda bored and tired 2 blog, but i hafta incase i 4gt details by the time i gt de "feeling" 2 blog. im kinda hungry now tho=( EVEN THO i juz ate abt 2hours ago.

ANYWAY!! saturday woke up wif oni 4hours worth of sleep. dun blame me, i went 2 bed at 1plus cuz i was gonna wake up at 8 cuz of work=( but i couldnt fall asleep!! lie in bed toss and turn till 3plus almost 4. den went 2 work dead

EPIC MOMENT!!

during lunch i lunched wif michelle. den she tell me she tonning at fren house. CUZ FREN GOING IN NS. at pasir ris

i was going ton at zg house cuz jh they all going in NS (see. 1 thing same) AND his house is at bedok (EAST SIDE AS WELL!!)

den after dat meixiang told us she OSO tonning at nite!! den her story. her fren GOING IN NS they were GOING HIS HOUSE WHICH IS IN TAMPINES to butcher his hair b4 he goes in.

SERIOUSLY!!! i was like omg. this is so awesome!! i was so amazed and shocked and happy. cuz of de coincidences. HAHAHAHAHA!! loves!!

ANYWAY!! so i went off 2 church 1st whr i ushered. and cedric v bad. ask me 2 brief the group which is serving reception. never liked briefing people/leading people. kanchiong spider sia!! seriously. ANYWAY! den rite i super worried and scared.

FINALLY USHERING OVER!! den initial plan was 2 go "dinner" wif my group. basically find them talktalk till 9 den go over 2 clarke quay. who noes kwan and wei keat (i dunno i spell correct nt) going some overseas trip, flight was dat nite. den they go airport. ok lor. they pangseh me i go clarke quay 1st. met brendan and we had dinner cuz the rest were late coming from michelle's bdae

den siewping didnt go de bdae so she met us soon after and den dedrick came over. den rite, we went over 2 white bar and waited 4 de rest. den open martell

people present: me, siewping, brendan, dedrick, zg, sz, yvonne, jinghao, simon

den rite, simon wanted 2 drink more so open 2 more bottles. damn shocking.

martell is really nice tho!! me likey!! den brendan and dedrick drunk. dedrick best somemore. drunk alr still tell zg "dun worrie, if u cannot drink i help u drink" cuz zg kept feeling like vommitting everytime he drank. den zg was telling me he feel v sad cuz a DRUNK guy telling him he'll help. HAHAHAHAHA!! but i oso gt tell him i'll help cuz i wasnt high at all and still can drink

cuz zg think dat simon abit nt happy cuz we all come 2 drink bt de guys like nt v on. so i told him if he need i can drink more wif simon so he wont so bushuang. but ok la i think. i tried lor. den drink again lor. half cup martell wif mixer cuz i told simon i'll drink wif him. anyway oso gt drink more la. tried wifout mixer and its nice de lor!!(: anyway! i think i drank quite alot

den jh was worried abt me when i pour halfcup so he told me "mel. dun need drink whole cup uh. u juz drink halfcup kay" den he was like u girl la. hahahas. bt seriously. nt even high. bt nice 2 noe dat my frenz care and are worried=D

anyway! drank finished anyway. after dat den i tried wifout mixer.

den dedrick go 0ut dat time some1 offered him beer-.- hard liquor+beer=CONFIRM DRUNK de lor. den dedrick drunk, brendan drunk.

NEVER EVER GET DEDRICK DRUNK. he keep banging into everything. bang into chair, hit chair, 2chairs fall, zg shocked. i hadta pull de chairs uprighte (i pulled 1 zg pulled 1)

den zg dunno hw 2 hold dedrick cuz he keep fighting off zg's hand. den he hold dedrick on de right, dedrick go hit car (those which are parked along the road). hold on the left, later kena hit by car

anyway! after dat we sat de 2 drunks down at a roadside. dedrick crying while RIGHT BESIDE HIM, brendan laughing. HAHAHAHA!! zg was like "always liddat 1 leh. if gt drunks always haf 1 crying and beside him laughing" HAHAHAHAHA!! funny sia

anyway! ironic thing was dat siewping and i were the ones who say we wanna drink till drunk. me abt uni thing. she abt personal problems

in de end we're both PERFECTLY SOBER, not even HIGH. & hafta take care of 2 drunks

HAHAHAHA

in de end cuz they too drunk cannot bring them back 2 zg house, so ton 0utside and in de end ate mac breakfast before going home. so siewping and sz after mac breakfast they cabbed home (both panjang) and den de 4 of us remaining (me zg brendan dedrick) cabbed 2 his house. heavy rain and the highway (i think) flooded and a car gt stuck. lucky taxi driver smart. drive de side. bt the water super high sia. den after dat reached zg house downstairs. raining and i wearing sleeveless. cold ttm sia. take out my jacket 2 wear; gt smoke smell=(

den finally went up and chitchatted(: den brendan went home. left de 3 of us

cuz i dinnering wif my family at tampines so no point i go from east-->north-->back 2 east

so stay at zg house till abt 1plus

den went off 2 eat at tampines (oni zg ate. carls junior)

den dedrick went home cuz his mummy cooked. so good

den cuz i hadta wait 4 jiejie. so zg offered 2 pei me. den 1st go check whetehr his itouch can repair not. repair super exp he niam (AGAIN NIAM) 2 me. tsk. poor me.

den after dat go arcade de game he wanna play spoil. so go another arcade. in de end he dun haf de card-.- HAHA. den go toilet, he come 0ut 1st, he talk on phone. i nothing 2 do i space 0ut. after he finish his call i niam him. niam him make me wait. DEN he niam me-.-

den jie reached and went 2 find her(:

dinnered at sushi tei! i was super cui-ed. damn tired cuz i didnt get much sleep on friday nite(4hrs) and den tonned. and ton nt juz nua oni. take care of drunks. who are CONSTANTLY SHOUTING AND CRYING AND LAUGHING. HAHAHAHA!!

reached home; shit and ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. from 8pm till 2day 1pm. awesomeness max.

AND THEN I JUZ REALISED I COME DAT 1 SO I CANT GO SWIMMING!! PISSED CANS!!

ANDANDANDAND HAPPY 21ST BDAE 2 MY SISTER!!(:

went drinking 2day wif candace lye!!(: happy!! especially since im not really close 2 my current grp. mostly im close 2 is like cheryl, cat and candace? all start wif C. HAHAHAHA!! but still. nt v close oso. like mayb a LITTLE closer. anyway! in essence, not close 2 any1 la. easier 2 understand

but last week met up wif candace 4 dinner and icecream!!(: and den 2day was dinner and DRINKING. me like me like!!(:

went 2 this random pub. in de end nt timbre. HAHAHAHA kinda funny. but its ok cuz de atmosphere is nice and if i dun rmb wrongly its cheaper den timbre. of cuz i had dinner b4 drinking. cannot drink on empty stomach!!

anyway! den drank and ate chicken wings!! random chatting session wif candace. me likey!!(:

den went home after and 2morrow im going jogging in sch wif siewping zg and sz!! happy!! cuz i absolutely haf de jogging and exercising feeling again!! imma happy girl!!(:

on a sidenote, i 4gt 2 blog abt some stuffs on sundown day. met up wif zg and was walking ard looking 4 sports shops when suddenly gt something cold and wet on my leg. i shocked bt i assumed it 2 b water drip from the aircon. den i looked and realised its a FREAKING BUBBLETEA PEARL. DAMN GROSS!! bt when i saw i kept laughing. and laughing. AND LAUGHING SOMEMORE. finally removed it and threw it away and felt disgusted. but still found it funny. HAHAHAHAHA!

& zg veh uncle. he go niam 2 me. somemore he was like "i wanna niam!" and started niam-ing abt his fren who ran wif him. he say he bathe 5mins his fren bathe 20mins, den his fren kope his shampoo AND FINISHED USING IT (i say he veh ji jiao leh) and THEN his fren asked 2 borrow his towel AND ALSO asked 2 borrow his slippers. den after he niam all dat den he was like ok niam finish. HAHAHAHA!! uncle much? HAHAHAHA!!

i WILL be happy.(:

i realised dat whenever im sick i always haf a "i wan a bf!!" feeling. seriously. & when i was feeling like cui oni yesterday (fever, my mummy say quite hot) den i went thinking and i realised why.

its cuz i wan some1 who'll b thr 2 like take care of me, pick me up from work when im feeling blah, put a cold towel on my forehead, accompany me till i sleep. hahahahas. i think too much la hor? kinda impossible. yea. i always wan a bf bt. always gt bt. hahas. guys i like never ever like me back. currently no guy dat i like. feels good cuz i dun cry abt guys nt liking me. but yet sad cuz i wan a bf but no name 2 insert in. hahas

de feeling is like on and off. makes me kinda wonder tho. when will i ever get a bf? like suree, my sis says i'll probably settle down and get married before her or haf kids before her but still. NO GUY, DAMMIT!! HAHA!! even if im more likely 2 settle down before her, still gt no guy rite. plus she gt stable bf alr leh. nvm la. at her wedding i make sure i catch de wedding bouquet can alr. they say catch alr will get married next rite??? HAHA!!

aiyeer. im getting real despo. HAHAHA!!

but actually not really. after i recovered i ok alr. keep wanting 2 exercise. mayb i like exercise so much cuz its something i can really control. studies i cant control. gt external factors like other students(competitors), grading systems etc, falling in love/getting attached i cant control. guy muz like me back 1st den gt ending rite?

but exercise i can push myself and challenge my limits and beat myself. (:

i haven updated in like DONKEY years.

basically i gt nothing much 2 update dats whyy. anyway suntanned wif deanna and siewping on a random weekday (i 4gt which day=x) and didnt get tanned at all. and reached home somemore gt sorethroat and the next day, fever. and took 2days mc and all. hahas. cuis. bt recovered very fast!!(:

den. hoho. my long awaited sundown half marathon! i hadnt exercised in 2months PLUSPLUSPLUS, meaning simply put, almost 3 months. ever since kristy bdae when i went 2 leisure swimming. so i hadnt trained 4 much longer den dat. so last minute preparations, i went jogging after work on tuesday nite, at 10pm. jogged 4km and almost died, and den went upstairs 2 rest. couldnt get down de stairs. pushed myself too hard i think

den de next day cramps. HAHAHAHA!! jokee. den finally sundown day! had 2 work early in de morning somemore. cannot even rest 2 get LOADSA energy. bt nvm. cute kids are always welcome!!(:

den went 2 meet zg cuz we meetup 1st den go thr 2gether wif his fren. den met him 1st cuz his fren was gonna b late. he oso late lor. grr. HAHAHA!! anyway~ den we wanted 2 buy lightsticks but couldnt find any leh. no daiso=( den went 2 buy abrasion powder cuz dat dumbo 4gt 2 bring his. hahas. he heartpain oni. almost 20bucks sia. i rather get abrasions. HAHAHAHA!! ok no la. abrasions pain sia. but i didnt kena any!! except blister cuz my socks were too low and the shoe keep rubbing against de back of my leg

den wanted 2 buy de giap giap thing (i 4gt de name) 2 giap our shoebags 2 our bag so wont lost etc when we check in at the baggage place.

ANYWAY! went 2 expo and met his fren. den bus-ed thr. damn sucks. jam like nobody's business liddat. jam till actually early till make me damn kanchiong cuz gonna b late. i reached left a few precious minutes nia. kanchiong spider. den haven even changed. zg help me line up 4 toilet 2 change while i went 2 change shoes

(i joked dat if cannot wait i juz find 1 corner go change den zg believed-.-)

den finally! changed, checked in bag and tried 2 put on this armband thing so i can keep my ipod and listen music while i run. but too bad. TOO LOOSE!!=( so i shoved everything 2 zg and started panicking trying 2 find de starting line (panicking AGAIN)

den zg had 2 like walk infront of me while i panic behind cuz i dunno whr de starting line. HAHA! lousy me. grabbed a drink of plain water and rush 2 de starting line

started and im proud 2 say i jogged 9km wifout stopping!! bestest yet. next up is 2 improve my timing

anyway! i didnt get 2 drink 100plus AT ALL. damn sucks. oni gt plain water. mayb if i had gotten 100plus my timing might b ABIT better? like shave off those 2mins la. den 3hours sia. HAHA!!

anyway! 1 part of the run i really loved. when i was walking (more den half covered alr) and feeling really quite cui, thr are people randomly placed 2 encourage us. and this guy who was standing at the side thr encouraging people (i run/walk at de side) saw me walking and told me "c'mon c'mon! lets go!" and i felt soooo encouraged(:

cuz when people say "lets go" i feel its like..i dunno. like u're not alone! like whenever people say "lets go [insert place/activity]" means lets go 2gether wad!! so it means dat we're doing it TOGETHER! so i felt so encouraged and started 2 run again. HAHA but gave up again. but still.

finally reached the finishing line!! i saw it and like omg. of cuz de last few metres i sprinted(: heehee. bt before i reached i saw this couple. when reaching the finished line the guy stretched out his hand 2 de girl, de girl took it and they ran 2gether de last lap. so sweet rite?! i see alr i feel so sad. HAHAHAHA!! cuz i dun haf!! but den again rite. if i ever run any runs wif my future bf rite, i oso dun wan liddat. like HELLO!! u shouldnt wait 4 me. u should run and beat urself!! challenge ur limits wad!! yeaps. HAHAHAHA!!

42.195km next on my list!! den i can strikeout one of my wants in "things i wanna do in this lifetime" den its 1 less thing!!

anyway!! im still sad dat im slower den cat. but owells. at least i beat my own goal. my own goal was 3hr30mins. but i managed 2 run fin in 3hrs2mins!! so yeaps. BUT IM STILL SAD.

im a sore loser so i hate losing 2 others, especially if they're of the same gender!! i read somewhr before dat 1 reaso why girls like 2 hang 0ut wif guys is cuz if the guys perform better den de girls, like example in sports, the girls can always console themselves saying like "cuz they're guys ma. so beat me in sports is normal de ma"

mayb dats why i always go jogging etc wif guys too! i always tell myself dat oso. except swimming. swimming i dont care u guy or girl i oso wanna beat u. hahahahah

ANYWAY!! im so gonna train till im better. seriously.

OH! and i had a fever yesterday=( but mummy gave me loadsa meds and now im all recovered!!(: happy girl. and my limbs are no longer aching (unlike zg who is still aching all over) so i totally feel like training again. and drinking. definitely drinking. cuz im still bleeding over the uni results thing.

oh and another thing. i hate it when my mum goes "ask jiejie 2 help u la" cuz de feeling i get is dat u're lousy, so get some help from ur sis who is much better. i NOE my sis is definitely better den me, but it still makes me feel inferior. even thou i AM inferior but it makes me feel even MORE inferior. hahahahahas.

OK ANYWAY!! DRINKING AND TRAINING SOON PLEASE!!(:

she's 2years old!! and awesomely cute(:


randoms abt taiwan trip wif girlgirl!! ya taiwan trip nothing much; shop+eat nia. bt gt de girlgirl for de 1st 6days cuz they on tour wif us. we broke off from tour 2 stay 4 another 2days ma

(for this picture)
tourguide: do u wanna take picture wif jiejie?
girlgirl: *shakes head while walkin 2 us and wanted us 2 carry her*
but fail!! we both didnt manage 2 cuz we scared while trying 2 carry her we fall down and hurt her

girlgirl: do u noe why (our tourguide) is standing outside?
me: i noe! he waiting 4 de bus(our tour bus 2 send them 2 de airport)
girlgirl: no!
me: ? den wad is he standing 0utside 4?
girlgirl: he looking at MOTORCYCLES LA!!
(den grins happily and wobbles away. wobbles away nt cuz she cant walk properly bt cuz she was balancing her doggie soft toy, called handsome, on her head so muz walk carefully)


and once she randomly said "jiejie hold my hand!!" cuz i was nearer so i gt 2 hold her hand while she was walkin 2 de bus. MUAHAHAHA

but she likes my jiejie more lor i think. she always go 2 my jiejie 1. =( unless im nearer=(