Updated blogskin

I am an idiot. All along I used a typical template by blogger and I always wished that I could have a blue themed template. Because I like the colour blue, it feels relaxing.

And I always wanted that basic theme to be blue!! Always made more sense to me for it to be blue.. I mean got bird flying right.. why brown-ish theme? Should be blue what.

AND TODAY I REALISED I CAN CUSTOMIZE THE COLOUR AND FONTS AND ETC!!

What socery is this?! Therefore now my blog is BLUE THEMED!! Super loves!!



..
Just quarrelled. What is love? It aint some rainbows and butterflies in your stomach and happiness and chocolates and sweetness.
It's just tears, unattainable expectations, accusations, putting down.

I fucking miss you. I fucking wanna cuddle.

Can I just have a cuddle buddy please? I dont care if people call me a slut. I've been indirectly called one by you for my dressing anyway. I want my cuddle buddy to be you. Because I fucking love you.

I just.. want a cuddle. I just want to feel loved. I just want to feel wanted.

5th Bike Pract (LAST LESSON 1!!)

TODAY IS THE DAY OF MY BIKE LESSON AND I FINALLY MANAGED TO PASS LESSON 1!!

Seriously super happy cuz I wasn't expecting to pass. Good thing was that the bike I got today wasn't the horrible one from the last lesson. Else I tell you.. CONFIRM need retake again.

Anyway! Everything went pretty well.. except after that when the instructor brought us to this place with a little course which consists of 2 circles (but not figure 8 or whatever), I was behind this guy who was behind another guy and I don't know which one is slow.. but the 2nd rider was right behind the first. And I was right behin the 2nd. And then because the speed was so slow, 2nd rider and I boh started wobbling and then somehow the 2nd rider slowed down even more and in order not to hit him, I wobbled and my bike fell.

When I fell I was totally demoralised already because in my mind I was like Wah Lau dammit I gotta take Lesson 1 AGAIN.

And I couldn't lift my bike though I tried afew times. So in the end the rider behind me came off his bike and helped me lift it up. Super nice of him! Or maybe I was in the way because he can't go until I go. Hahahaha. Either way thankful to him.

After that more or less ended so that was fine. Also managed to bring my bike up to main stand in 1 try so that was good in the sense it didn't make me feel worse. Sat down and just thought to myself sian Lesson 1 again. Felt really down and demoralised and basically crappy.

Instructor came out and called us all and he said some stuffs and said "You all will have to come back". My heart totally sank but I tried not to look disappointed because well it's my own skills right. Then he observed us all and said "For Lesson 2." HAHAHA We were all a little shocked and didn't know how to respond and I think the instructor was a tad disappointed at our lack of reaction. Hahaha. This instructor is nice though.

I can't really sink in that I hav finally passed my Lesson 1 though. And already worried for my next bike pract. What is this right. Haha. Nonetheless I was really happy and kinda emotional when the instructor said Lesson 2.

Finally!! Worried though. I hope I never get that lousy bike from Pract 2 and 4 though.

Not very exciting posts recently because no mood.

Desaru 14Feb-16Feb

So, went to Desaru on 14-16 Feb. Tony rented a car in Malaysia and drove up. The resort was not too bad, Pulai Resort. Expected the pool to be bigger tho.. I mean it isnt small but I wanted a huge pool to swim in.. But in the end I didnt swim much and DIDNT TAN AT ALL. Even after an hour in the sun. WTH totally. And to make things worse, Tony tanned quite a fair bit. Angry ttm!!

Went to Firefly cruise and Fruit Farm, nothing else much. Just mostly relaxing I guess? But 3D2N is definitely not enough cuz we reached on 14th at about 4pm, then went Firefly cruise, next day swimming pool, massage, Frui farm, and then to Kota Tinggi for dinner. Then back already late night. Next day checked out at 10am:( Cuz return car at 12.

Was not bad a trip but was quite affected cuz the day before had a major bad quarrel. And I cant help looking at him and thinking this aint gonna last forever.

During our quarrel I walked away.. and he never gave chase. He never made any effort. Instead he let me walk away and home myself and never contacted me. Until after that to tell me he let me be 'cuz he wanted me to cool down. And then asked me to confirm if I was still meeting Pam together with him.

Nice to know that that's all he cares about.

Alrighty. Supposed to do assignment but everything else seems more exciting and interesting than assignment thats why I came to blog. But mood aint good so, bye.

4th Bike Practical (AND STILL LESSON 1 FML)

So on 12th Feb I went for my 4th bike practical and.. so 'cuz Tony rented a car so he sent me to SSDC.. and went off to do his own stuff. Went up and prepared etc.. and got the same bike as my 2nd lesson. That bike is terrible. I swear. Like the throttle is kinda faulty?! I kept jerking and stalling during the 2nd lesson but during the 3rd (different bike) I totally didnt. And now 4th lesson the faulty bike again and I kept stalling and jerking again. FML. I think I might not have very good control anyway but this bike made it worse.

So.. I didn't pass my Lesson 1 AGAIN AND I HAVE TO RETAKE LESSON 1 AGAIN. I wanted to see what was the plate number of this faulty bike so I never take it again but I TOTALLY FORGOT TO LOOK. I seriously never wanna get this bike again. I mean yes I might not be good at controlling yet, but this bike makes it even more difficult!!

I really wonder how many lessons I will need before I pass lesson 1.. Feeling demoralized ttm.

3rd Bike Pract (Still Lesson 1)

So today was my 3rd bike pract, still on lesson 1. I'm seriously doubting whether I can even finish it in 4 lessons. I mean it's already my 3rd lesson and I just got to go the big round.. and not good at it somemore.

So anyway today I reached and started putting on my guards and etc.. and the guy whom I same lesson with the past 2 lessons came and said hi. So okay, he will be in the same lesson as me as well, nice!

Then after that went out and split into our respective areas. Almost dropped the bike while pushing it back and the instructor hadta help me. The instructor from my 1st lesson! I don't remember his name but remember his face and he is a nice instructor!

Then after that basically went around the mini-circuit until the instructor thinks we are ready and plucks the ready people out for the big round. And the guy got plucked out while I still in the mini circuit because my braking and control etc not good.

So about 4 or 5 of them went to the big round with an instructor and another instructor stayed to take care of afew of us. I remember got like 3 of us leh but after that eventually only me and another guy got plucked to go for the big round. So in the big round we learnt to change gear till gear 4.

However during the corners I was like super nervous la!! One of the corner I went alittle into the opposite lane (opposite direction) and there was a car coming (slowly) and I faster managed to go back into my lane..
The funny thing was that the lady in the car seemed more shocked and scared than me when I swerved into her lane a little. Maybe she scared she bang into me.. I guess if I were her I would be scared too.. like FUCK WHY ARE YOU IN MY LANE OMG GET OUT DONT HIT DAO!!

Also learnt to stop, signal, check back, and move off. And then cancel signal. I tell you my brain was gonna explode because SO MANY THINGS TO DO AND I CANT REALLY MULTITASK WELL!! Wound up telling myself what to do. I tend to talk to myself, tell myself the steps so that I will be able to be more calm.

Like I will talk to myself like "Ok signal. Check back? Ok. Go. Ok. Change to gear 2.... and cancel signal"
Like I need to tell myself what to do else I will totally panic. Infact when changing gear I also talk to myself "ok close throttle.. Change to gear 2! Eh why got jerk. Ok slow down got corner. Got car? No car. Ok look at road dont look at mirror."

ALL THE FREAKING TIME.

Also, because there are 'side roads' so other bikers some are coming from the side (learning different things), so once, for me was a straight road but for the other biker he was supposed to stop at the stop line, check for traffic (me), then move off. And I dunno he didnt see me or what, he started to move off. AND I TOTALLY PANICKED AND ALMOST PULLED IN THE CLUTCH. Omg that could have been bad.

Omg I was kinda traumatised for awhile and then infront got corner already. Wah that 1 really scared me..

Eventually time's up and the instructor stopped me and told me to wheel the bike back and park on mainstand. So.. walked the bike (with much difficulty) and proceed to put on mainstand. AND CAN!! WOOHOO!! The instructor of a different class was beside me (I think incase the bike fall if I no balance) and he told his class "See? Small small size also can put on mainstand, because her technique is correct!"
Wah happy die me. First time someone say my technique correct. Somemore managed to put bike on mainstand in 1 try!!

And was happy that when releasing bike from mainstand (in the morning), I manage to do it and didn't drop the bike!! However, I think is cuz the instructor help me steady the bike. I think if I dropped the bike I still cant push it back up.

Went back to sit down to wait for our booklets and sat behind the guy (who progressed faster than me already!). He smiled and then told me he fell when he was doing some cornering thing (I haven't gotten to that stage yet). Really glad to have him cuz he is so friendly!! But I think next lesson probs not same as him alr, sian. I mean he prob also progress faster than me la but still. It's calming to have someone so nice and encouraging talk to you before and after lessons. Not like we talk much anyway. Just 1 or 2 sentences. But nonetheless. Comforting.

Anyway so instructor returned my booklet and told me because I'm on my 4th Lesson 1 next time, so it will be FOC!!! HOW COOL IS THAT RIGHT!! Actually I think because generally people take 2-3 lessons to pass but 'cuz I'm STILL STRUGGLING so that's what the school does. Like 4th lesson free, 5th lesson pay, 6th lesson free and so on. Of course I hope I don't need to go till 6th la!! And best thing is the dates are more!! In the end also choose next Friday, no diff. Because the rest of the days really packed for me.

I seriously hope I can and will persevere even though I am quite demoralised at my own skills (or rather, lack of skills). Anyway the whole reason why I am blogging all my bike lessons is 'cuz I hope one day I will get my license and look back on my bike lesson blogposts fondly and laugh at myself.


AND I GOT 4 FREAKING ASSIGNMENTS DUE THIS MONTH, IN A SPAN OF 2 WEEKS. WTF LA. One of the assignments even due on CNY DAY 1. HOW CRUEL CAN SCHOOL BE SIA!!

If that isn't bad enough, Tony is coming back and just nice the period is exactly in my 4 assignment deadlines. AND I AM GOING TO DESARU AND ONE OF THE DEADLINES IS ON MY TRIP. Just my luck seriously.

And worst thing is I got no mood.

Compressport Corridor Run 2016

Today is like blogging day. 3 posts in a day. But overdue so.. have to!!

Anyway 31 Jan was my Compessport Corridor Run!! First run of the year. Quite a interesting way to start my runs for the year cuz it was certainly different. I mean I ran this route before. The opposite way, but the route I have gone through before, last year for the Green Corridor Run 2015. So I know generally how it is like, but life likes to throw curveballs(:

Went there and the place was wet and muddy. Think it rained or something and all the soil was just terribly muddy and everybody had to walk at the side. If you walked in the centre your shoe will sink in.

My new shoes!! Quite sad initially cuz I havent even worn these shoes more than 10 times and here I am dipping them into mud.

But race started and everybody was walking past the starting line because there was SO MUCH MUD AHEAD. Infact I dont think I started running until at least 700m after the starting point? And the thing is.. right after you start running, there is a mud pile again so you gotta stop again..

The mud was really watery and smooth so it went into all the grooves of my soles of my shoes and I almost slipped and fell countless of times because it was SO SLIPPERY!! Basically this run had me trying to balance myself like 3/4 of the time.

That wasn't the worst part. We came to a part where suddenly there were alot of people standing and NOT MOVING. Was wondering why until I realised there was a huge puddle. I mean really huge. So everybody was walking at the sides in single file so it bottlenecked. Some people (like 2 or 3) decided to just wade through the water and trust me, the water is at their shin area. NO KIDDING! I slipped alittle so my right foot stepped into the muddy water and I was quite pissed initially. After that I was like ah forget it. Dirty jiu dirty. Gotta wash anyway.

Alot of people also climbed up to the roads and then joined back again after, but still, when they came back down some slipped. So.. still dirty. Haha.

Finally reached the ending point at Tanjong Pagar railway station and off home!! Was exhausted and smelt terrible. Think although i jogged less than other 10km runs but I definitey sweated more. One reason cuz of the terrain and another cuz of the timing. Like WHO THE HELL STARTS A 10KM RUN AT 9PLUS?! Stupid ttm. I mean the sun is up and scorching!!! But we were quite lucky, the sun didnt come up will about halfway? So I didnt get the uneven tan because I was wearing sleeves. Didnt get tanned but thats fine.

It was really a great way to start my run of the year though because it is so different!! I must say it was a good experience even though I kena a hugeass bruise from scratching my leg against a stone table. I didnt expect a bruise since it was a scratch but then the scratch popped up and the side all kena blueblack. Quite disgusting somemore, got the purple dots. Yucks ttm.

Next run is in March, Winter Run (postphoned from 2015 which I was so angry. How to WINTER run in March?? No feel!!!) and Green Corridor Run!! Eggcited.

2nd Bike Pract (Lesson 1)

So on Friday 29Jan I went for my 2nd bike pract. Kinda knew what I was gonna do since the instructor told us that we are still at mini circuit and haven't learn gear 2. So I assumed probs still mini circuit and learn gear 2?

Anyway!! I bought my knee and elbow pads and although they were free sized and therefore still alittle big for me, HOWEVER THEY ARE SO AWESOME. LIKE I DONT HAVE TO USE THE SMELLY ONES FROM SSDC ANYMORE!! Totally awesomez!

So I went, again at the 8.15am slot and there were more people.. So I was a little stressed and scared and basically felt awkward. Instructor told us to go around the mini circuit and I was doing that when suddenly beside me came a "hi!' Looked to the side and it was the guy who was with me during the 1st pract!! Felt better after that cuz at least got someone I kinda know?

After awhile the instructor stopped us and taught us how to change to 2nd gear and told us to practise. And slowly he began plucking some of them out. Initially we are 5 people and he plucked 2 of them out to the bigger circuit..

So another instructor came to oversee us and he was kinda stern so I was a little more nervous, after I already know my control aint very good.

Eventually when I was stopping (the mini circuit has 3 stop lines), he asked me "Do you know why your instructor never bring you to the bigger circuit?" I said I didn't and he said my control not good. I sweved and sometimes went out of line, and also didn't adhere to the centre of my lane but sometimes stopped at the very side. And because the bigger circuit is 2 way, so if my control isn't good and my instructor lets me go, if i swerve onto the kerb still nvm, but if I swerve onto the opposite lane and there is another vehicle that would be dangerous.

So I continued at the mini circuit the whole time. I tried to control better but I think still not good. Got quite demoralised as well.

Finally lesson ended and I went to sit down, beside the guy from my 1st lesson. He was also like me, still stuck at the mini circuit. And even though he was behind me so he often had to wait for me to move off before his turn came, and my bike kept stalling and causing him to have to wait behind me for some time, however once I sat down he smiled and told me something like 'Not bad this time you got improve!' I told him instructor said my control not good and he laughed and said he also. Felt better after that cuz even though I don't think I improved but nonetheless the encouragement was really nice.

So after that went off home after booking my 3rd first pract. Haha. I got a little demoralised and told Tony wah my mouth really suay. I said I prob need to take 4 times or something. Really think will kena.

And home and rest(: Hope I can persevere and do well!! This time the instructor more stern so I got a little intimidated and demoralised. Hope I will be stronger!

Forest Adventure 24 Jan 2016

I havent updated in a long time. Infact, last Sunday (24 Jan), I went for Forest Adventure at Bedok Reservoir with ZP and havent even blogged about it.

So we bought Groupon vouchers for the Forest Adventure cuz ZP saw it and wanted to go and JT's shoulder is injured and just nice I happened to mention in passing that I wanted to overcome my fear of heights becuse it is my dream to go rock climbing. Like my bucket list. So they were so excited and said I could go for the Forest Adventure with ZP!!

I was so scared about it seriously. Kinda funny though. Initially we booked for 17Jan and everything was nicely booked (online) and we went there.. only to be told that the Groupon voucher had a specific time slot and we didnt pick the time slot. And also, the time slot for that day was full so we couldnt go for it. So we basically made the appointment for the next week at the Groupon voucher timeslot (11.30 to 2pm i think).

So anyway it was kinda a blessing in disguise cuz we got to walk around and see people doing it and it kinda calmed me down a little cuz the harness is damn secure one. And also there isnt any 'fall' if you slip. You can just bend your knees a little and you are already at the max of the harness. Which is damn safe and good for me cuz I was so worried I would fall and not be able to climb back up.

So we walked around the sites and looked at them and I got less scared

So anyway then we went off home after lunch, since we were knda exhausted from waking up early and getting excited/scared.

The next week, 24Jan, we metup again for the actual Forest Adventure and I was so scared I couldn't sleep well. Even though I knew it was secure. I just kept fearing I would fall!!

So we reached and went through a briefing which told us how to secure ourselves (Red on!) and how to land for the ziplines. Basically there were 4 sites and when you finish Site 1 you actually take a zipline (flying fox!!) over to Site 2!! And so on. Favourite part of the Forest Adventure is definitely the ziplne! Though my landing always very cmi. I got sand all over myself and even in my clothes.

The instructors are not really at the sites but seriously, it is safe. I mean I have a fear of heights and I didnt even scream THAAAAAT much. That said, I did cheat alittle on one of the obstacles by swinging across half of the obstacle.

But still!! Because the harness was so secure, I ACTUALLY ENJOYED MYSELF!! Though I did cheat quite abit by relying on the harness instead of standing straight and balancing myself.

The scariest part is probably the Tarzan Jump, a jump from about a height of 12m? I also dunno la. Some say 12m some say 8m. Whatever la hor, basically u jump and it swings you to a spiderweb thing for your to climb up and onto the platform. But there is a freefall of about 2secs. We were soo scared and eventually we jumped cuz the girl was coming up and only 3 people per platform so we hadta go. Definitely screamed but it wasnt as bad as i expected!! Proud of myself!

Oh and the harness and safety etc? ALL BY OURSELVES. The obstacles, the ziplines, the tarzan jump, all of them we secure ourselves using the carabiner ourselves and undo them ourselves.

That's why they had the 'Red on', which is whenever we are at a platform we have to have our red coloured line with the carabiner hooked onto the red line at the platform. It's like we are responsible for ourselves. I very scared heights so CONFIRM red on immediately!! Also, everything I hook myself I will go 'Red on!!" and ZP will be like ok!! So it was quite fun

In fact I liked it so much I wanna go back again!! This time to do less cheating and really balance myself instead of relying on the harness.

All in all I think it's super fun and definitely worth it. That said, I bought Groupon voucher la so it was cheaper. Think the original price quite steep. Bad thing was there isnt really shower facilities except the typical toilet at parks. I mean there IS a shower but it is open, in the female toilet but not in cubicle. And anyway I didnt bring towel so.. wiped myself with wet wipes and baby powdered myself and that was it.

I would love to go back again!(: