insecurities over the same thing over and over and over again. sometimes i really wish that for once people would notice me first. because it hurts. it's like a knife through the self confidence everytime something like that happens. and this happens all the time. i should have been immune to it but for some weird reason it hurts all the time. though i should have been totally mentally prepared from the start. but still. some things im unable to prepare myself for. and some things cannot be numbed towards. maybe i should just wake up, from the dream that i had since young. the dream of a happily ever after. cuz c'mon, face facts mel.