2day was interns trip.

yurong was having fever so couldn't make it
seriously i very bu xiang qu when i heard dat she fever & not going.
after all she told me previously dat de last time there was tea session(which i missed cuz I was the sick 1, ironic? it was me den now its her), dat the uni students talked by themselves.

bt den i reassure myself, since i noe benson abit wad
so thought might be abit better

i think no doubt mine was better den yurong la
cuz at least when i 1st reached env building & saw de 4 uni interns, i saw benson so i went 2 ask him whether i was late

super suay ok. i prepare everything, ready and all, & confirm reach early de l0r
supposed 2 report at 915.
i planned 2 reach by 9

den early morning stomachache
rushed 2 northpoint toilet 2 shit
diaherra.
wad the?!

den anyway back 2 de topic
after dat the interns went 2 sit down 2 wait.
i dunno them so i stood a distance away
den benson come ask me yurong leh?
i say she sick not coming

den i think he oso dunno wad 2 say alr, den he "oh" den wander back 2 de uni interns

ahs
tell u
i was feeling really so lonely

those who noe me should noe luh, i canNOT keep my mouth shut 1
im like super duper noisy
(& jasper will agree 2 dat!! HAHA!! he always suan me de l0r!!)
*urhmph*
back 2 de topic

so basically
there were de interns & some other staff who went 4 de trip.

de staff noe each other so they talk by themselves, mostly
some came 2 talk 2 me once in awhile tho(:
but mostly i juz stand/sit there like mute.
man. i cannot tahan sia.
call me weak i oso dun care luh

i juz follow l0r
where they go i juz follow

actually in a sense i felt really hurt
really hurt by de fact dat i was sorta like treated like wallpaper
ignored

i noe,i noe.
i dunno u all
no reason 4 u all 2 talk 2 me & all

i didnt go talk 2 them cuz i felt it'll b very shameless liddat
they never come talk 2 u, u so thick skin go talk 2 them meh?

but i really felt very lonely
nobody 2 talk 2 at all

it really dampened my mood

after de trip i, myself, went back 2 tohtuck
alone

i can honestly say i teared at the mrt station
teared=de tears never flow out

felt so so so down
so outcast

bt i dun blame them. its not like i would go talk 2 some unknown girl standing a distance away if i had my own frenz rite?

but anyway thank God 4 benson oso
tho he mostly juz hang out wif his frenz

bt when sitting down 2 listen 2 ppt (ironic much?! i listen 2 ppt everyday in sch?!)
cuz de interns sit 1 row, left 1 seat
den de staff standing around but they noe each other ma
he look at de chair
den look at me
think he didnt really noe wad 2 do ba
should he sit dat chair? or sit another 1 so i wouldn't sorta like sit alone?

owells
juz shake head & smile & mouth 2 him "its ok"
den rush off 2 sit elsewhere l0r
if nt i so thickskin 2 force him sit wif me or something meh?
i dun even noe him well l0r, he close wif de rest wad
& liddat he no need 2 think wad 2 do ma.
he can an xin de sit wif his frenz.

den anyway went back tohtuck alr
didnt take lunch cuz stomach feeling blah

like i told ruth
i think gt 2 reasons
1 is cuz im so down dat it affect my stomach
another is cuz my diaherra i think

so i didnt
communicator put some note thr
benson came 2 ask me abt it
told him down cuz yurong never come de trip l0r
actually its more den dat
but didnt wanna tell him la.
its like telling him
"oh i felt left out 2day leh"
like indirectly saying them wad
& alot of other reasons as well de la.

i really dun blame them la
bt i still feel hurt leh

haiix!
this sucks!!

why do i always dream dream dream
den reality comes & breaks my dream


always hang my hope up high
then they get shot down & i haf 2 pretend its all alrite.