i've been pretty lazy 2 blog but well..hahas..i've always been lazy

going escape wif pamela 2morrow..im drifting further & further away from pamela & as much as i try it doesn't seem 2 bring our frenship closer nor like the last time..

when she suggested escape theme park i was like "WOW! finally i can spend some time wif her juz 2 do wad we did last time!!"
DON'T GET ME WRONG
melissa tan is not a lesbian & never was,so if u're entertaining such thoughts in ur mind..
trash them

but she dropped a bombshell onto me: no it was not gonna b juz pam n me it was going 2 b pam,yb,wh,perhaps aaron n den me..goodness i think my heart juz stopped beating then..

much as i would like 2 deny it,i admit..yes i AM jealous dat pam n yb is getting on so well..n i dun seem 2 b in her plans 4 2008..its like she was my best fren & yet now im juz another fren 2 her,1 she contacts juz 2 ask if can go escape anot,juz so dat there will b more ppl going..i dunno if dat is true anot..but i doubt it

but once she called me she said something dat i doubt she rmbs but i rmb it VERY clearly..
she called me n said: i've got bad news 4 u..ur good fren has bcome a flirt..i immediately noticed the word GOOD..not best fren,good fren..
so is dat all i m 2 her? i dunno & i hope not bcoz really..i really love her as a fren

as a matter of fact,i love yb alot as well..sure im jealous of their frenship getting so close but dat dun mean i haf 2 b jealous of her..

no,she's 1 of the warmest person i've ever met,& in my whole entire life she was the VERY 1ST person 2 ever hug me & i'll 4ever appreciate her n rmb her 4 giving me dat bit of show of love n care n concern,coz it was at a very nervous time

but im really sad,each time everytime we plan 2 go out pam will always include yb in..& each time it hurts a little,a little,a little & the pain adds & adds & adds..

i really dunno y im saying dis now,bcoz i noe i'll always haf my shepherd 2 turn 2 4 help,but somehow it's hard 2 tell her coz it's juz so complicated it would start from my quarrel wif pam & it would continue wif alot of '& den..& den..& den's

sorrie shepherd..

im going escape wif them 2morrow..will i b left out? i can't help but feel dat i will,& if the rides r 4 2 ppl im gonna b e 1 left w/o a partner & i'll sit on the ride alone,crying 2 myself yet hiding the tears..