my Olevel results r coming out on the 24th of jan..

dunno whether i should b happy or sad..i mean i've been waiting 4 quite some time 4 dis so i should b happy its finally here but den im sad coz i noe dat im getting my results & my parents & everybody is gonna nag..

i hope i can go out wif pam on dat day but she says c her mood..sigh..

its like im so far from her lahz..when im free she's not when she's finally free im seldom free..SIGH..T.T

but she's my only best fren & i dun wanna lose this best fren..........

heys there!

i hate the fish tanks at home!! i think they r breeding mozzies or something,& NO IM NOT JOKING..i've got 8 mozzie bites on 1 leg..lucky the other leg oni got 1..mayb my blood is sweeter on my left..hahas^^

anyway the thing is any1 in their right mind wont ever buy so many fishes and:

#1-stink up the whole house..seriously it stinks..& once was worse,the stupid & ugly & big catfish jumped outta the fish tank & stank the whole place & anyway my dad had 2 carry it 2 the near pond,the big big 1 near the safra..haha i think its just retribution i seriously dun like fishes they juz plain dumb but they got a life as well..poor things,i feel dat my dad tortures them in their tanks..

#2-breed dumb mozzies..seriously it's not oni me..mayb u think its coz i go out & all dat but NO my sis oso..it's too much of a coincidence right?

#3-flood up the house sometimes..really lahz it floods at the worst times,when we're sleeping,when HE isn't home so my sis & i haf 2 clear up 4 HIM..anyway my sis suffered more den me coz once i wasn't home..

#4-& haf me & my sis hate those poor lil fishes..i've got nothing much against those fishes actually it's not their choice 2 b caught & imprisoned in a bigfish tank,but wif so many others dat it seems small after dat..geez..><

im gonna scratch myself 2 bed man..><

& GUESS WAD?! EVERY SINGLE MORNING I WAKE UP I GOT STOMACHACH!! so dumb..wad a dumb thing 4 my stomach 2 do..acting up when i could laze in bed..><

but hey dun get me wrong i love my own family as well tho sometimes i feel like i really really hate them but its oni temporal & i really love them

my mom she really really cares alot..the thing i rmb most about her is the fact dat when im VERY sick she sleeps in the living room wif me coz i cant sleep aircon..& i really really love my mom's cooking^^ i dun enjoy her nagging tho><

my sis she wans 2 help me in my studies but my pride stops me from going 2 her 4 help..tsk>< & she cares as well..she asked me 2 find a job so i wont b lazying ard everyday so i asked joan if i could work at her workplace but i haven ask her if really got space anot

my dad he often buys stuff 4 me tho outta 10 things perhaps oni 2 i need/want..but i rmb him the most is scolding me><><

but i muz say sometimes i tend 2 take dis family of mine 4 granted & not appreciate them><

I LOVE MY FAMILY!!! APPRECIATE THEM ALWAYS!!!!

its 2008 n im almost 1 year old in christ le..

in 2007 alot of things happened..like really alot..
i 'quarrelled' wif pam..actually didn't really quarrel..i like 2 think its cold war coz she never talk2 me at all dun ask me wad we 'quarrelled' about i dunno either

but anyway in 2007 i think i really grew up..no im still short & still childish..makes me feel younger perhaps?^^

anyway in 2007 i learnt alot from yhope & the wonderful people there

i learnt 2 depend on God & not on my own strength..really..i remember i prayed 4 bus alot of time..& i always c the bus when i open my eyes^^

i learnt how 2 speak up..really..i dun like people 2 look at me when i talk nor listen 2 me unless it's like crap lahz..but sometimes got testimony 2 share or all dat or lead 1 cg role or something den i always very scared but always i will haf encouragements b4 dat de..thanks people^^

i learnt a bit 2 talk 2 contacts & newbies..coz i dunno them very well usually i dun talk 2 them but den sometimes haf 2 take care of them i always at a loss as 2 wad 2 do but den luckily always got some1 else 2 guide me..heehee^^

i learnt 2 outreach..i last time dun dare outreach de coz i think very scary..dun get me wrong lahz i still think its scary but its a different fear now..last time is i fear wad the ppl would think of me..but now i fear rejection..which leads me 2 my next learning point......

i learnt 2 take rejection as something normal..although i still get very disappointed when i get rejected when i ask ppl 2 help me do the survey dat the cg members made..

i learnt 2 open up & not bottle up my feelings..i haf my beloved shepherd & cg members 2 turn 2^^ & i really appreciate them 4 the help they haf given me

i learnt 2 crap more..uh oh! hahas but it's all learnt from northa1!! hahas^^

other den learning there r some other stuff:

i noe dat there r alot of lovely gals out there who used 2 b totally unrelated 2 me but now we r sisters in christ^^

i had alot of fun wif the silly gals in northa1 & i enjoy all our outings/events

i haf a ministry & i REALLY LOVE IT!! it's real fun^^



I LOVE YOU ALL!! APPRECIATE U ALL ALWAYS!!

i've been pretty lazy 2 blog but well..hahas..i've always been lazy

going escape wif pamela 2morrow..im drifting further & further away from pamela & as much as i try it doesn't seem 2 bring our frenship closer nor like the last time..

when she suggested escape theme park i was like "WOW! finally i can spend some time wif her juz 2 do wad we did last time!!"
DON'T GET ME WRONG
melissa tan is not a lesbian & never was,so if u're entertaining such thoughts in ur mind..
trash them

but she dropped a bombshell onto me: no it was not gonna b juz pam n me it was going 2 b pam,yb,wh,perhaps aaron n den me..goodness i think my heart juz stopped beating then..

much as i would like 2 deny it,i admit..yes i AM jealous dat pam n yb is getting on so well..n i dun seem 2 b in her plans 4 2008..its like she was my best fren & yet now im juz another fren 2 her,1 she contacts juz 2 ask if can go escape anot,juz so dat there will b more ppl going..i dunno if dat is true anot..but i doubt it

but once she called me she said something dat i doubt she rmbs but i rmb it VERY clearly..
she called me n said: i've got bad news 4 u..ur good fren has bcome a flirt..i immediately noticed the word GOOD..not best fren,good fren..
so is dat all i m 2 her? i dunno & i hope not bcoz really..i really love her as a fren

as a matter of fact,i love yb alot as well..sure im jealous of their frenship getting so close but dat dun mean i haf 2 b jealous of her..

no,she's 1 of the warmest person i've ever met,& in my whole entire life she was the VERY 1ST person 2 ever hug me & i'll 4ever appreciate her n rmb her 4 giving me dat bit of show of love n care n concern,coz it was at a very nervous time

but im really sad,each time everytime we plan 2 go out pam will always include yb in..& each time it hurts a little,a little,a little & the pain adds & adds & adds..

i really dunno y im saying dis now,bcoz i noe i'll always haf my shepherd 2 turn 2 4 help,but somehow it's hard 2 tell her coz it's juz so complicated it would start from my quarrel wif pam & it would continue wif alot of '& den..& den..& den's

sorrie shepherd..

im going escape wif them 2morrow..will i b left out? i can't help but feel dat i will,& if the rides r 4 2 ppl im gonna b e 1 left w/o a partner & i'll sit on the ride alone,crying 2 myself yet hiding the tears..

i got hungry 2day at around 5 plus..& i knew dat there were frozen packets of seafood gyozas in the fridge but i had 2 fry them up myself

i've always been scared of fire & there are oni 2 reasons y i ever go near fires(im talking about tiny ones here,not those dat can kill)

reason #1:
practicals of course! it's terrible dat we haf 2 on the fires & heat stuff up,couldn't they haf some other way of finding out wad the substance is? anyway they already noe so y need us 2 do it?
im VERY scared of fire..

reason #2:
when im hungry,& the fire is limited as well,limited 2 frying eggs,coz eggs dun splatter oil ard..ask my sis,sometimes she even has 2 fry eggs 4 me coz im really scared..

but my sis wasn't at home when i was hungry & anyway when she was home & i said i was hungry she asked me 2 make food myself T.T
my sis went 2 watch the countdown,liyan asked me 2 go but i dun feel like going i'll rather stay at home & haf lots of space 2 run ard in,coz i dun exactly like crowded places,dats 1 reason y i dun like shopping as well,but anyway dats not the point..

so i was hungry & needed food & i did NOT feel like eating fried egg,juz bcoz i didn't feel like eating egg..cravings 4 the seafood gyoza i guess..dumb stomach of mine..

so anyway i had 2 do it myself & i was really scared..
after placing the gyozas into the pan i turned on the fire,and den i crawled up my sink so i could see my food & b a good distance away from it at the same time,yes dats how scared of the fire i m
den of course u gotta turn the gyoza so it wont b burnt 1 side & uncooked the other 2 sides right? armed wif the lid of the pan as my shield from flying oil,i turned the fire smaller & den i slowly turned the gyozas,& some splattered..which made me run far away..b4 i went back 2 turn the others,thus some were burnt on some sides..><

but the thing is i managed 2 do it!! omit the part where i almost shouted & many times i ran away from the pan..I AM SUCCESSFUL!!

the oni bad thing is dat by the time i actually finished cooking it(i used the small fire almost all the time),i wasn't really hungry anymore..
wad's worse,the gyozas didn't exactly taste good & the chilli was very hot so i had 2 drink alot of water & the water bloated me up more den the gyozas did..but oh well..

my debut attempt at anything other den egg..yay!!
would love 2 reward myself wif choc but im having cough so cant T.T

MELISSA SUCCESSFULLY COOKED HER FOOD!!

whoo yesterday last at night my parents were watching dis show on t channel 8 i think..& dis show my whole family got watch at least 2 times b4 its some kinda martial arts dunno wad fighting dunno wad & anyway u get the idea..

i've always liked watching martial arts shows coz i juz think its juz real cool..& i mean REAL cool
my whole family likes martial arts,my dad got learn de,& my mom was always interested..my sis & i are ALSO very interested in martial arts..

& dats 1 reason y i took wushu as my cca..those who dunno,are u shocked? :p
didn't expect it right? i quit about a year ago coz i really really didn't like my coach..he force me 2 do split(i couldnt & still cant :p)& since i cant of course it hurts when u force urself 2 do it right?
den he go & push until i almost cry..i had tears in my eyes but im not gonna let HIM see dat..den he laugh at me lehz! so wad if im a crybaby? it really hurts wad u cant expect me 2 noe how 2 do a split juz bcoz u keep pushing me 2..Rome wasn't built in a day

anyway the thing is i really enjoy watching these shows^^


2007 is ending & 2008 is coming..so fast 1 year gone,my Os are over & i really wanna go poly
of course i dun wanna leave north but i guess i'll haf 2,sooner or later..i really love northa coz they are really silly people :p
there is a close bond & i really wish i could stay on but i noe it's normal,i'll haf 2 leave..

thanks all u people who helped me so so much,especially those in northa^^
& special thanks 2 my shepherd joan hoe she really helped me out alot^^
thanks joan^^

LOVE YA NORTHA!!