finished reading "Somebody Else's Kids" from 1 of my fav author-Torey Hayden

this is a part which really touched me

"I don't see why people bother to care about anything. All it does is hurt you in the end. All you did was make me like you and now I wish I never did because I don't want to miss you. I spend my whole fucking life missing people. I'm never going to like anybody again."

"You're right there. It does hurt. Loving people always does hurt. It's part of the deal, I think."

"It hurts too much. It isn't worth it. I'm never going to like anybody again. Then I don't have to worry."

I watched him huddled on the floor of the closet.

"Yes, Tom, you're right about that too. If you never love anybody, you'll never have a broken heart. But Tom, that's not what hearts were made for."

went jogging wif zg 2day!! at his house area. its like some agreed fact dat whenever its swimming he comes over and when its jogging i go over. but apparently he said he found dat thr's some swimming complex v little people. dun needa squish wif ALOT of people!!

anyway! so i reached. anyway i late 6mins but he made me go back home after i was downstairs, to get my goggles 2 lend him. TSK. HAHAHAHA!! anyway. its a miracle dat i was oni 6mins late actually. i thought i was ALREADY late. even before getting his goggles. anyway!

den rite. reached and went jog. jog 2 bedok reservoir instead this time. oni jogged thr. walked back. but before dat i saw swings and i told zg i wanna swing!! so he hadta pei me. HAHAHAHA. me love swings!!

so den swingswingswing. and we both dun dare 2 swing too high cuz gt fear. hahahah. den after dat back, shower, eat.

he veh mean.

me: *niam-ing about anything and everything*

him: mel can i slap u?

me: u dare? (oni jasper dare wad!!)

him: *lightly slaps my face*

me: U SLAP ME?! U SLAAAAAAAAAAAAP ME?!

him: no la. dat 1 not slap. dat 1 sayang.

me: WAH LAU!! I SAYANG U OSO LA?! *starts trying 2 slap him*

den he cover his face-.- so i hit his head lor=D

hahas. v random but super fun. and before dat i was irritating him by dragging my words and giving them funny tunes. HAHAHAHA he was so irritated he plug in his earpiece and started singing 2 cover my voice. den i gt louder and louder and he sang louder and louder-.-

HAHAHAHAHA!!

and i say him pangseh kia cuz he pangsehh!! ubin, those who noe will noe. HAHAHAHA.

den rushed off 2 work!! 2day was an okay day. super irritating kid at work. i literally fierce him. i kinda dun care. like very AA. i HATE AA kids. gt another 1 oso kinda AA. so i juz ignore him when he trying 2 get attention. but de super irritating 2 i really cannot tahan. so fierce him. but still, he continue-.-

and 2day both cuties came too!! hahas. but i oni get 2 see oni. never get 2 take them their verbal testing=( but its ok! hahahahas=D

ok. nitez=D

UBIN ON WEDNESDAY!! my v 1st time kayaking. me excited!! 1person kayak 4 me cuz SOMEONE pangseh. ya. i never point fingers. but ya. like READ THE TOP. den will noe. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ok la! i wan 1person kayak!! seems fun!!(:

a genuine smile comes from the heart

and you can tell whether a smile is genuine or not.

or maybe the person is just too good at wearing the mask.

2 myself, but blogging it 0ut so im literally talking 2 myself and when i read back it reminds me again.

mel, be independant. cuz the people who are here for you now may walk away anytime. and you can walk away anytime too. dont look back once you walk away cuz once u've made the decision to walk away then dont regret it.

its an emo life but i kinda understand how it works. if you dont let any1 get close enough 2 hurt you, then you'll never get hurt!

sidenote; i needa start exercising by myself too. like jogging after work. getting slack.

i will be independant. i'll stop thinking about ever falling in love cuz its better 2 go on wif life and den when the right one comes then its a pleasant surprise. rather than keep waiting and get your life stuck thr. i noe. its easy 2 say cuz till now i still wish i had a bf. but i'll b strong and do wad i wanna do. i'll b independant and anybody who cant accept me for who i am, juz go away. cuz i dont want any1 putting up wif me. either you love me or you leave me alone. tyvm. either you make me feel welcome, or you totally dun smile at me at all. tyvvvvvm.

because im a freaking insecure bitch about friendships.

and i dont like you. even though i dont even know you. amazing right? call it woman's intuition.

From The Tiger's Child
"When i was little, you called me lovey. And tiger. And sweetheart. What was I then that I'm not now?"

From HSM2
"..but plans change and people change.."

Bet on it lyrics
"...Did you ever push away the ones
You should've held close?
Did you ever let go?
Did you ever not know?

...Did you ever
Doubt your dream will ever come true?
Did you ever
Blame the world and never blame you?
I will never
Try to live a lie again
I Don't wanna win this game
If i can't play it MY WAY"

really feel like going mia soon and VERY soon. but its ok cuz. i dunno. cuz people wont care anyway.

anyway, went swimming 2day wif zg again. cuz we're exercise buddies!! hahas. seriously. i started slacking AGAIN. dat time i actually went jogging after work but this week i oni exercised twice and both times wif him and super little-.- jogging we jogged less den 2km. i think. HAHAHAHA!! more time spent walking 2 buy drink and walking back 2 his house.

anyway!! den 2day swimming. new swimsuit!! i nt so comfy in it. prefer de previous 1. but this 1 de strap thinner=CAN TAN MORE!! woohoo!!

*urhmph* anyway! so went swimming and then swam 5laps. funny thing is we actually met earlier den last week. and then we still started swimming at the same time cuz de pool was too crowded so we actually sat down and nua and talk for ONE HOUR. amazing rite!!

me: wah we met earlier but in the end we talk 1hr!

zg: ya!! but if u realise rite...in this 1hour..all we talked is...

(gifs a very dramatic pause)

crap.

me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! YA!!

even now i dun rmb wad we talked abt. but i guess dats the thing abt crap. u wont rmb cuz its not impt. HAHAHAHA

den swam 5laps and den my goggles broke. ZOMG!! major sobs cans?! my fav sia!=(

den hadta wear my another goggles which is too big 4 me and den water keeps going in.

den swim 1 lap of hands oni. me likey!! cuz i always feel dat i gt exercise when i swim wif hands. like tired ma!! tired = gt exercise lor!!

den bathe. he v bad. gimme 20mins 2 bathe nia. lucky i managed. HAHA i always bathe 30mins at home!!

den ate fishballs. i love eating fishballs after swimming!! cuz from young everytime after swimming i'll eat fishballs!! so its like tradition now=D

den went off 2 eat chicken rice!! the AWESOME chicken rice=D

den chitchat and gossip. even talk all de way till when we were having fyp!! awesomes.

den i go work and he go home. HAHAHAHAHA!!

AND I GOT TANNED!! so imma supa dupa happy girl!!

on a sidenote, the bestfriend thing still hurts. but yeaps. i noe. every1's entitled 2 choose who they wanna spend time wif. and i oso noe dat things arent as close now and u all have closer frenz. i juz wished i had too. someone 2 turn 2 when im down. when im crying and need some1 2 text and they'll console me despite it all. someone who's always on my side spurring me on.

u'kno. the one who is like THIS-->A good friend would bail you outta jail, but a best friend would be sittin’ next to ya sayin’ "we screwed up, but we had fun doin it!"

hahas yeaps. but im really thankful 4 afew people in my life(:

they arent bestfriends but they're awesome friends all de same! (talkin abt recently of cuz. nt abt like LONGLONG time ago etc)

and they are siewping deanna mx zg yuhan cedric. HAHAHAHA!! i noe! weird list.

siewping is cuz we grew closer after sch ended!! so yeaps!

deanna is cuz she randomly leaves comments on my wall whenever i seem 2 b down etc

mx is cuz of work im always telling her stuffs. RANDOM stuffs. HAHAHAHA!!

zg is cuz he's my exercise buddy

yuhan is cuz seriously he's a very random bt gd listening ear!! seriously random. but really appreciated cuz sometimes when i put kinda emo nicks on fb my frenz dun ask but he, some1 who i dun contact on a regular basis, might randomly comment and ask me 2 tell him more. KAYPOH SIA.

HAHAHAHA!! (btw he sgt alr sia)

and cedric is cuz whenever he seems my emo fb posts he'll sms and ask wad happened. HAHA. i rmb once i lied 2 him cuz he asked me wad happened and it was church related but i told him it was work related. but he sent me an encouraging sms anyway! asking me nt 2 ever gif up but 2 press on. appreciated!!

ok. ends. im grateful 4 these random people in my life. and im tanner den previously!!

went sentosa suntan!! earliest 2day. i noe!! its amazing isnt it?! 1st time ever ok. since its so early.

anyway! gd dat i reached early too. i desperately needed 2 shit. cuz i ate my mummy's AWESOME FRIED CHILLI FISH!! definitely worth the stomachache!!

den shit. and went 2 topup card. met siewping and den deanna and den zg came after. while we were at giant buying snacks and wadnots. hahahas. he late king. still dare ask me dun late yesterday nite. SEE!! how dare u siaaa. nag at me somemore. AHAHAHAHA!!

anyway! den reached sentosa and raced zg. duhh definitely i lost. den suntan!! de sun initially hot. den when we tanning den not hot. den suddenly hot!! den it was so hot i used my chips 2 cover my eyes (the whole packet) so my eyes wont hurt. after dat challenge zg 2 consecutive cartwheels and i won!! cuz he stop each time l0r-.- means nt consecutive le rite!! den went into de water. SUPERLY cool. i swear!! but i think i swim dat time never kick properly luh uh. now my ASS HURTS. a little la. anyway!!

den swam 2 de other side. chitchat wif zg. den swam back. den decided 2 race running in de water. i lost cuz he CHEATED. we stop halfway cuz i gt amazed by crab. den suddenly he walk walk den went "i 4gt 2 tell u. THE RACE IS STILL ON!!" *splashes and runs away*

WAD THE CANS!! so see. oso nt my fault i lost

den went 2 some business building 2 eat astons cuz deanna's fren work thr. siewping super cute sia!!

siewping: he (referring 2 deanna's fren who is a twin) how old?

deanna: 18

siewping: ohh..den his brother lehh?

all of us totally laughed like mad and den told her "twins leh!!"

HAHAHAHA!! but she so innocent. so funnyy! hahahahas=D

den after dat bus-ed 2 town and play pool!! fun sia!! im nt gd at it and every1 keeps helping me so its fun!!(:

OK ANYWAY! now i needa shit.=D

2morrow suntanning!! im superly excited cans!! and of cuz im gonna bring my cap. de 1 i bought from taiwan!! i love it but i abit paiseh 2 wear cap ard la. juz seems weird. HAHAHAHAHA!! but sentosa, gt sun. so can rite!! HAHAHAHA!! wear 1 actact nia. suntan confirm take 0ut de rite?!

heehee

and i super feel like giving up on love and focus on loving my frenz instead. seriously. its been quite a few months since i last liked someone and tho i always wished i had someone 1 like but i oso wan the person 2 like me back rite?? so actually its better dat i dun haf any1 dat i like now. cuz anyway people i like never like me back de lor. so ok la. hahas

and goodness. i haven packed 4 2morrow suntan. HAHA!!

yesterday went 2 my grandma house 2 celebrate fathers day wif my extended family. den after dinner we started talking about when we were kids.

and we really laugh like mad.

1st i started by saying my mum once told me when i was very young i wanted 2 help her carry her stuffs 4 her (groceries) so she let me. den i v short so i drag on de ground so she hadta take it back from me.

den become why im called "bing bong biang" by my grandpa. and den concluded dat cuz everytime my mummy or any1 else drop things i'll go "bing bong biang!" and den rush 2 pick it up. HAHAHAHA!! den my dad said i loved picking things up. last time when i went his fren house he throw rubbish (im assuming wrappers) on de floor and ask me pick up and i'll zoom alr picking them up. SO BAD RITE!! HAHAHAHA!!

den i was like im so gong meh?! den my mummy suddenly laughed and said i was so gong dat i let my sis use those laundry clips 2 clip my ear. somemore can pose 4 pictures. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! and cuz no1 knew it was painful and i was too dumb, so i didnt say anything. HAHAHA!! (btw de dumb is i myself say de)

and my dad started saying how i'll always run and JUMP onto his back and yell "TAXI TAXI!!" cuz i wan him 2 piggyback me into my room. now i noe why i love piggybacks so much(:

den i remember even if i wanna go toilet i'll still jump on his back and he piggyback me 2 my room den i run 2 de toilet=D so can get my piggyback(:

I LOVE IT WHEN I WAS A KIDDDDDDDDDDD!! and i miss those times.

i swear, if i ever get a bf he's gonna hafta piggyback me everywhere. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! ESPECIALLY if he sends me home and walks de path beside the big drain. CONFIRM wan piggyback. cuz less people, nt so paiseh. and dun needa walk de path somemore. HAHAHAHAHA!! yeaps. i'll force my future bf 2 piggyback me all de time. HAHAHAHA!! (note2self:get a bf who doesnt haf any back problems)

muz go swimming every week!! den i'll get more and more tanned(: happy sia!! i thought i didnt get tanned but turns 0ut i did!! HAPPY!!

anyway! met zg at like 1020 at yishun swimming complex cuz he LATE. actually i oso gonna b late but he say 1st ma. so his fault dat we meet late lor.

den somemore i buy 100plus 4 him leh. seriously. im so nice. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! den he niam me bathe v long. so bad rite?

anyway! den change, put bag down and into de pool!! somemore de weather good sia. gt sun. but de sun pms la. keep hiding. too many clouds. dats why i thought i wont get tanned much

ANYWAY! we decided 2 swim from 1030-1. so means 2 and a half hours of swimming. and 0ur goal is 15laps. sounds ok rite?

here's de awesome thing. HAHAHA. we spent 1hr swimming 10laps (the last 1hr) and den de 1 and a half hour before dat we spent swimming 5laps+chit chatting. we v power rite?

wad we talked abt

me: eh lets go overseas lehh!!

zg: i oso wan! but hard la (explains dat de clique is busy)

me: ya lor..every1 busy..but i wanna go overseas lehh!!

zg: i oso!! i wanna go phuket!!

me: i oso!! i wanna go batam/bintan/phuket/SAIPAN ISLAND/bali.

(continues awhile, den silence)

.

.

.

.

a few mins later-

me: EH GO OVERSEAS LEHH!!

zg: i oso wan!! (starts excitedly talking abt phuket and krabi when he went, de snorkelling)

me: wah lau! i oso wan!!

.

.

.

a few mins later-

me: EH GO OVERSEAS LEHH!!

zg: i oso wan!! (starts talking abt genting and de weather)

.

.

.

and it goes on and on and on. same topic we talk so long-.- repeated somemore. i niam him abt something once in awhile den we talktalk again

den he went toilet

den after coming back

zg: i think rite, after swimming my stomach empty den will wobble. wobble wobble wobble den gt tsunami...

den i juz listen rite?

den

zg: den tsunami tsunami tsunami! (splashes super alot of water at me)

me: WAH LAU EH!!-.-

ok den we swam finish den bathe. den he niam me cuz i bathe VERY LONG. actually not very lor-.- quite oni. less den half an hour leh. plus i say meet 0utside at 130 i 2mins late oni. tsk. nt gentleman

den ate at kfc-.- our 15laps gone sia liddat

plus yesterday i ate buffet at nihon murai wif me dumbs, and den icecream (super sinful sia) wif them and den latenite dinner (or supper) at macs, MCWINGS MEAL.

hahas. seriously. but im SUPER happy abt my tan and de fact dat i swam 15laps.

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA. ok. 2morrow gt fav kid!!(:

1 very good reason why i never managed 2 quit. i never can bear 2 leave cuz of the kids!!=( TOO CUTEE!!

recently keep thinking of meteor garden songs. hahas. de song in my previous previous blogpost oso is from meteor garden de. den i went 2 listen 2 i cant help falling in love with you in chinese and the lilo and stitch video was so cute!! makes me wish i watched it when it was 0ut in cinemas!!

den i went 2 listen 2 this song which i was initially trying 2 find but stumbled on the i cant help falling in love song and sidetracked awhile

情非得已

難以忘記初次見你　一雙迷人的眼睛
在我腦海裡　你的身影　揮散不去
握你的雙手感覺你的溫柔
真的有點透不過氣　
你的天真　我想珍惜
看到你受委屈　我會傷心

只怕我自己會愛上你
不敢讓自己靠的太近
怕我沒什麼能夠給你　
愛你也需要很大的勇氣
只怕我自己會愛上你　
也許有天會情不自禁
想念只讓自己苦了自己　
愛上你是我情非得已

什麼原因　我竟然又會遇見你
我真的真的不願意　
就這樣陷入愛的陷阱

i miss the times when my besties felt like besties. not now when they only feel like besties in name.

你要的爱

虽然经常梦见你 还是毫无头绪
外面正在不着雨 今天是星期几
I don't know 你去那里

虽然不曾怀疑你 还是忐忑不定
谁是你的那个唯一 原谅我怀疑自己

我明白我要的爱 会把我宠坏
像一个小孩只懂在你怀里坏
你要的爱 不只是依赖
要像个大男孩 风吹又日晒
生活自由自在


tho this post is like not referring 2 any1, but i juz especially like the lyrics in red

i feel like crying. but its kinda unexplainable. too complicated? its tied 2 my previous post.

i dunno la. seriously dunno. juz feel like crying, feel very down, very emo.

overseas please? batam bintan phuket redang island?

anything? anywhr? as long as overseas whr i can totally be free from everything? PLEASE?

i've decided dat im gonna hafta start preparing 2 be all alone in wadever i do. prepare myself.

cuz u'kno wad? define BEST FRIEND for me.

dun say the ones who are always thr 4 me. they arent. infact more often den not they're the ones dat i see pics/posts etc on fb having fun and den get hurt because i never seem 2 b in their lives. when im all sad and they dun console me. when i need someone thr and im confiding in you and you freaking change de damn topic. yes. im particularly talking about ONE person for the changing of topic.

anyway. best friend? i dont seem 2 haf any. i dont want any drinking session cuz i noe im gonna be left out. i'll stick wif drinking wif my clique. at the very least i feel like i belong.

and who was there for me when i needed someone to talk 2 abt my uni application thing? none of the people i call best friends. my clique was thr. i never called them my best friends. they were my very very very close friends only. in fact the person who cared the most was just a good friend. goodness.

thanks.

no doubt i noe i haven been active in their lives either, but if i happen 2 see sad posts on fb i comment/ask. COME ON DAMMIT. u dont even need 2 meet me up. juz drop me an ENCOURAGING msg can anot?

now i dont even feel like ranting 2 my so called besties ever again.

and i miss my clique so much rite now. bt i noe its also a matter of time before it splits up 4 gd cuz we dont meetup.

really pissed now

me(in chinese): mummy i used 2 haf this bright blue sports bra. now cannot find alr. u noe whr issit not?

mum: 不在那边(my drawer) meh? 不在就没有了lor.

THANKS ALOT. seriously.

kinda bored and tired 2 blog, but i hafta incase i 4gt details by the time i gt de "feeling" 2 blog. im kinda hungry now tho=( EVEN THO i juz ate abt 2hours ago.

ANYWAY!! saturday woke up wif oni 4hours worth of sleep. dun blame me, i went 2 bed at 1plus cuz i was gonna wake up at 8 cuz of work=( but i couldnt fall asleep!! lie in bed toss and turn till 3plus almost 4. den went 2 work dead

EPIC MOMENT!!

during lunch i lunched wif michelle. den she tell me she tonning at fren house. CUZ FREN GOING IN NS. at pasir ris

i was going ton at zg house cuz jh they all going in NS (see. 1 thing same) AND his house is at bedok (EAST SIDE AS WELL!!)

den after dat meixiang told us she OSO tonning at nite!! den her story. her fren GOING IN NS they were GOING HIS HOUSE WHICH IS IN TAMPINES to butcher his hair b4 he goes in.

SERIOUSLY!!! i was like omg. this is so awesome!! i was so amazed and shocked and happy. cuz of de coincidences. HAHAHAHAHA!! loves!!

ANYWAY!! so i went off 2 church 1st whr i ushered. and cedric v bad. ask me 2 brief the group which is serving reception. never liked briefing people/leading people. kanchiong spider sia!! seriously. ANYWAY! den rite i super worried and scared.

FINALLY USHERING OVER!! den initial plan was 2 go "dinner" wif my group. basically find them talktalk till 9 den go over 2 clarke quay. who noes kwan and wei keat (i dunno i spell correct nt) going some overseas trip, flight was dat nite. den they go airport. ok lor. they pangseh me i go clarke quay 1st. met brendan and we had dinner cuz the rest were late coming from michelle's bdae

den siewping didnt go de bdae so she met us soon after and den dedrick came over. den rite, we went over 2 white bar and waited 4 de rest. den open martell

people present: me, siewping, brendan, dedrick, zg, sz, yvonne, jinghao, simon

den rite, simon wanted 2 drink more so open 2 more bottles. damn shocking.

martell is really nice tho!! me likey!! den brendan and dedrick drunk. dedrick best somemore. drunk alr still tell zg "dun worrie, if u cannot drink i help u drink" cuz zg kept feeling like vommitting everytime he drank. den zg was telling me he feel v sad cuz a DRUNK guy telling him he'll help. HAHAHAHAHA!! but i oso gt tell him i'll help cuz i wasnt high at all and still can drink

cuz zg think dat simon abit nt happy cuz we all come 2 drink bt de guys like nt v on. so i told him if he need i can drink more wif simon so he wont so bushuang. but ok la i think. i tried lor. den drink again lor. half cup martell wif mixer cuz i told simon i'll drink wif him. anyway oso gt drink more la. tried wifout mixer and its nice de lor!!(: anyway! i think i drank quite alot

den jh was worried abt me when i pour halfcup so he told me "mel. dun need drink whole cup uh. u juz drink halfcup kay" den he was like u girl la. hahahas. bt seriously. nt even high. bt nice 2 noe dat my frenz care and are worried=D

anyway! drank finished anyway. after dat den i tried wifout mixer.

den dedrick go 0ut dat time some1 offered him beer-.- hard liquor+beer=CONFIRM DRUNK de lor. den dedrick drunk, brendan drunk.

NEVER EVER GET DEDRICK DRUNK. he keep banging into everything. bang into chair, hit chair, 2chairs fall, zg shocked. i hadta pull de chairs uprighte (i pulled 1 zg pulled 1)

den zg dunno hw 2 hold dedrick cuz he keep fighting off zg's hand. den he hold dedrick on de right, dedrick go hit car (those which are parked along the road). hold on the left, later kena hit by car

anyway! after dat we sat de 2 drunks down at a roadside. dedrick crying while RIGHT BESIDE HIM, brendan laughing. HAHAHAHA!! zg was like "always liddat 1 leh. if gt drunks always haf 1 crying and beside him laughing" HAHAHAHAHA!! funny sia

anyway! ironic thing was dat siewping and i were the ones who say we wanna drink till drunk. me abt uni thing. she abt personal problems

in de end we're both PERFECTLY SOBER, not even HIGH. & hafta take care of 2 drunks

HAHAHAHA

in de end cuz they too drunk cannot bring them back 2 zg house, so ton 0utside and in de end ate mac breakfast before going home. so siewping and sz after mac breakfast they cabbed home (both panjang) and den de 4 of us remaining (me zg brendan dedrick) cabbed 2 his house. heavy rain and the highway (i think) flooded and a car gt stuck. lucky taxi driver smart. drive de side. bt the water super high sia. den after dat reached zg house downstairs. raining and i wearing sleeveless. cold ttm sia. take out my jacket 2 wear; gt smoke smell=(

den finally went up and chitchatted(: den brendan went home. left de 3 of us

cuz i dinnering wif my family at tampines so no point i go from east-->north-->back 2 east

so stay at zg house till abt 1plus

den went off 2 eat at tampines (oni zg ate. carls junior)

den dedrick went home cuz his mummy cooked. so good

den cuz i hadta wait 4 jiejie. so zg offered 2 pei me. den 1st go check whetehr his itouch can repair not. repair super exp he niam (AGAIN NIAM) 2 me. tsk. poor me.

den after dat go arcade de game he wanna play spoil. so go another arcade. in de end he dun haf de card-.- HAHA. den go toilet, he come 0ut 1st, he talk on phone. i nothing 2 do i space 0ut. after he finish his call i niam him. niam him make me wait. DEN he niam me-.-

den jie reached and went 2 find her(:

dinnered at sushi tei! i was super cui-ed. damn tired cuz i didnt get much sleep on friday nite(4hrs) and den tonned. and ton nt juz nua oni. take care of drunks. who are CONSTANTLY SHOUTING AND CRYING AND LAUGHING. HAHAHAHA!!

reached home; shit and ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. from 8pm till 2day 1pm. awesomeness max.

AND THEN I JUZ REALISED I COME DAT 1 SO I CANT GO SWIMMING!! PISSED CANS!!

ANDANDANDAND HAPPY 21ST BDAE 2 MY SISTER!!(:

went drinking 2day wif candace lye!!(: happy!! especially since im not really close 2 my current grp. mostly im close 2 is like cheryl, cat and candace? all start wif C. HAHAHAHA!! but still. nt v close oso. like mayb a LITTLE closer. anyway! in essence, not close 2 any1 la. easier 2 understand

but last week met up wif candace 4 dinner and icecream!!(: and den 2day was dinner and DRINKING. me like me like!!(:

went 2 this random pub. in de end nt timbre. HAHAHAHA kinda funny. but its ok cuz de atmosphere is nice and if i dun rmb wrongly its cheaper den timbre. of cuz i had dinner b4 drinking. cannot drink on empty stomach!!

anyway! den drank and ate chicken wings!! random chatting session wif candace. me likey!!(:

den went home after and 2morrow im going jogging in sch wif siewping zg and sz!! happy!! cuz i absolutely haf de jogging and exercising feeling again!! imma happy girl!!(:

on a sidenote, i 4gt 2 blog abt some stuffs on sundown day. met up wif zg and was walking ard looking 4 sports shops when suddenly gt something cold and wet on my leg. i shocked bt i assumed it 2 b water drip from the aircon. den i looked and realised its a FREAKING BUBBLETEA PEARL. DAMN GROSS!! bt when i saw i kept laughing. and laughing. AND LAUGHING SOMEMORE. finally removed it and threw it away and felt disgusted. but still found it funny. HAHAHAHAHA!

& zg veh uncle. he go niam 2 me. somemore he was like "i wanna niam!" and started niam-ing abt his fren who ran wif him. he say he bathe 5mins his fren bathe 20mins, den his fren kope his shampoo AND FINISHED USING IT (i say he veh ji jiao leh) and THEN his fren asked 2 borrow his towel AND ALSO asked 2 borrow his slippers. den after he niam all dat den he was like ok niam finish. HAHAHAHA!! uncle much? HAHAHAHA!!

i WILL be happy.(:

i realised dat whenever im sick i always haf a "i wan a bf!!" feeling. seriously. & when i was feeling like cui oni yesterday (fever, my mummy say quite hot) den i went thinking and i realised why.

its cuz i wan some1 who'll b thr 2 like take care of me, pick me up from work when im feeling blah, put a cold towel on my forehead, accompany me till i sleep. hahahahas. i think too much la hor? kinda impossible. yea. i always wan a bf bt. always gt bt. hahas. guys i like never ever like me back. currently no guy dat i like. feels good cuz i dun cry abt guys nt liking me. but yet sad cuz i wan a bf but no name 2 insert in. hahas

de feeling is like on and off. makes me kinda wonder tho. when will i ever get a bf? like suree, my sis says i'll probably settle down and get married before her or haf kids before her but still. NO GUY, DAMMIT!! HAHA!! even if im more likely 2 settle down before her, still gt no guy rite. plus she gt stable bf alr leh. nvm la. at her wedding i make sure i catch de wedding bouquet can alr. they say catch alr will get married next rite??? HAHA!!

aiyeer. im getting real despo. HAHAHA!!

but actually not really. after i recovered i ok alr. keep wanting 2 exercise. mayb i like exercise so much cuz its something i can really control. studies i cant control. gt external factors like other students(competitors), grading systems etc, falling in love/getting attached i cant control. guy muz like me back 1st den gt ending rite?

but exercise i can push myself and challenge my limits and beat myself. (:

i haven updated in like DONKEY years.

basically i gt nothing much 2 update dats whyy. anyway suntanned wif deanna and siewping on a random weekday (i 4gt which day=x) and didnt get tanned at all. and reached home somemore gt sorethroat and the next day, fever. and took 2days mc and all. hahas. cuis. bt recovered very fast!!(:

den. hoho. my long awaited sundown half marathon! i hadnt exercised in 2months PLUSPLUSPLUS, meaning simply put, almost 3 months. ever since kristy bdae when i went 2 leisure swimming. so i hadnt trained 4 much longer den dat. so last minute preparations, i went jogging after work on tuesday nite, at 10pm. jogged 4km and almost died, and den went upstairs 2 rest. couldnt get down de stairs. pushed myself too hard i think

den de next day cramps. HAHAHAHA!! jokee. den finally sundown day! had 2 work early in de morning somemore. cannot even rest 2 get LOADSA energy. bt nvm. cute kids are always welcome!!(:

den went 2 meet zg cuz we meetup 1st den go thr 2gether wif his fren. den met him 1st cuz his fren was gonna b late. he oso late lor. grr. HAHAHA!! anyway~ den we wanted 2 buy lightsticks but couldnt find any leh. no daiso=( den went 2 buy abrasion powder cuz dat dumbo 4gt 2 bring his. hahas. he heartpain oni. almost 20bucks sia. i rather get abrasions. HAHAHAHA!! ok no la. abrasions pain sia. but i didnt kena any!! except blister cuz my socks were too low and the shoe keep rubbing against de back of my leg

den wanted 2 buy de giap giap thing (i 4gt de name) 2 giap our shoebags 2 our bag so wont lost etc when we check in at the baggage place.

ANYWAY! went 2 expo and met his fren. den bus-ed thr. damn sucks. jam like nobody's business liddat. jam till actually early till make me damn kanchiong cuz gonna b late. i reached left a few precious minutes nia. kanchiong spider. den haven even changed. zg help me line up 4 toilet 2 change while i went 2 change shoes

(i joked dat if cannot wait i juz find 1 corner go change den zg believed-.-)

den finally! changed, checked in bag and tried 2 put on this armband thing so i can keep my ipod and listen music while i run. but too bad. TOO LOOSE!!=( so i shoved everything 2 zg and started panicking trying 2 find de starting line (panicking AGAIN)

den zg had 2 like walk infront of me while i panic behind cuz i dunno whr de starting line. HAHA! lousy me. grabbed a drink of plain water and rush 2 de starting line

started and im proud 2 say i jogged 9km wifout stopping!! bestest yet. next up is 2 improve my timing

anyway! i didnt get 2 drink 100plus AT ALL. damn sucks. oni gt plain water. mayb if i had gotten 100plus my timing might b ABIT better? like shave off those 2mins la. den 3hours sia. HAHA!!

anyway! 1 part of the run i really loved. when i was walking (more den half covered alr) and feeling really quite cui, thr are people randomly placed 2 encourage us. and this guy who was standing at the side thr encouraging people (i run/walk at de side) saw me walking and told me "c'mon c'mon! lets go!" and i felt soooo encouraged(:

cuz when people say "lets go" i feel its like..i dunno. like u're not alone! like whenever people say "lets go [insert place/activity]" means lets go 2gether wad!! so it means dat we're doing it TOGETHER! so i felt so encouraged and started 2 run again. HAHA but gave up again. but still.

finally reached the finishing line!! i saw it and like omg. of cuz de last few metres i sprinted(: heehee. bt before i reached i saw this couple. when reaching the finished line the guy stretched out his hand 2 de girl, de girl took it and they ran 2gether de last lap. so sweet rite?! i see alr i feel so sad. HAHAHAHA!! cuz i dun haf!! but den again rite. if i ever run any runs wif my future bf rite, i oso dun wan liddat. like HELLO!! u shouldnt wait 4 me. u should run and beat urself!! challenge ur limits wad!! yeaps. HAHAHAHA!!

42.195km next on my list!! den i can strikeout one of my wants in "things i wanna do in this lifetime" den its 1 less thing!!

anyway!! im still sad dat im slower den cat. but owells. at least i beat my own goal. my own goal was 3hr30mins. but i managed 2 run fin in 3hrs2mins!! so yeaps. BUT IM STILL SAD.

im a sore loser so i hate losing 2 others, especially if they're of the same gender!! i read somewhr before dat 1 reaso why girls like 2 hang 0ut wif guys is cuz if the guys perform better den de girls, like example in sports, the girls can always console themselves saying like "cuz they're guys ma. so beat me in sports is normal de ma"

mayb dats why i always go jogging etc wif guys too! i always tell myself dat oso. except swimming. swimming i dont care u guy or girl i oso wanna beat u. hahahahah

ANYWAY!! im so gonna train till im better. seriously.

OH! and i had a fever yesterday=( but mummy gave me loadsa meds and now im all recovered!!(: happy girl. and my limbs are no longer aching (unlike zg who is still aching all over) so i totally feel like training again. and drinking. definitely drinking. cuz im still bleeding over the uni results thing.

oh and another thing. i hate it when my mum goes "ask jiejie 2 help u la" cuz de feeling i get is dat u're lousy, so get some help from ur sis who is much better. i NOE my sis is definitely better den me, but it still makes me feel inferior. even thou i AM inferior but it makes me feel even MORE inferior. hahahahahas.

OK ANYWAY!! DRINKING AND TRAINING SOON PLEASE!!(: