University

Suddenly thought back to the days when Pam and I were enrolling and planning to study overseas in University of Tasmania.

Sure wished that I had been a risk taker, stuck to my guns and just went for it without knowing what life might throw at me next.

That period of time for overseas studies will never come back again, once it has passed there is no chance of me ever being able to study overseas. I am over that age.

Kinda sad about it cuz always wanted to just go there, new environment, rent a small room with Pam and basically do everything ourselves. So totally not me cuz I am the total opposite definition of independant. But I was really excited about it because come on. Overseas studies? Australia? University of Tasmanic? Marine Bio? With my bestie? Sounds like the best combi ever.

But life smacks me in the face telling me to grow up, it aint possible.

So... here I am about 4 years later, knowing I will never have my dream of having a Marine Bio degree from University of Tasmania, and now currently studying something which I really don't know how to apply in future.

Psychology. I was always kinda interested in it as well, that's why I took a psychology module in RP. However to study it for a degree I never really thought I would do it. Especially when to practise Psychology in Singapore you need to have a Masters. And also most of the time when you hear people wanting to take a Psychology degree it would be going overseas to get it as well.

I always told myself this is a basic degree, and just get a basic degree, better than if I were to take a more specialised or specifc degree like a Science degree or something and eventually if I decide not to go into that field my degree would be totally wasted.

I guess though I know the possibility isn't high at all but I just really wanted to get a basic Psychology degree and get into the Singapore Police Force. But really if I had to be honest and harsh to myself, I don't think I can get in. I may jog and swim once in awhile but I am definitely not fit nor strong. And while everyone tells me "Can train de!", but even through my Wushu days I was weak, without much strength. My arms never really increased in size and muscles.

Till now I cant do a single proper pushup, and my stomach muscles are weak so I can't do much situps.

What am I going to do when I graduate? Such a fear-filled question. I don't know. I really dont know.. And it scares me to admit it.

Right now I am studying so I don't have to worry about work and all those adult problems. But it is a matter of time. But I don't think I will be prepared for them when I graduate.