as a friend, how much do i really mean to you?

cuz everything i know, it's from others? it's what i others tell me, then only do i get the news?
what happened to the friendship? where's it gone? or maybe i just don't mean that much to you, compared to the others?

(im not expecting a response because the person i'm directing this to probably doesn't read my blog.)




on a sidenote, i realised that i really have alot of areas i need to grow in.
especially punctuality and pride issues.

yes i DO have pride issues. but they aren't immediately obvious (or so i hope?)
but yes, as i reflect these past few days, i really have pride issues.
but it happens within me.

i have a very competitive streak in me.
sometimes i JUST CAN'T let anyone win me. or something like that.
but of course i know myself, that some things i just can't do well.
but in things that i think i'm quite okay in, most of the time i just can't let people win me.
so yes, i think i'm really quite a difficult person to live with and all that.

and another thing would be, i never like to say sorry.
& it's my pride that stops me.
although i'm okay with saying sorry to my friends, but seriously, when i need to say sorry to family, it's a whole different kettle of fish.

i need to muster up a whole lot of courage to say sorry, and to battle my pride.
of course another reason why i don't like to say sorry to my family is because its embarassing, sort of. because my family seldom?



okay, anyway, that's all.