“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 
-Marilyn Monroe

REALLLYYYYY REALLLLYYYY REALLLYYYYYYYYYYYY feel like swimming but dont wanna swim alone. and prefer to swim in the day cuz i can get tanned. im problematic.

don't know what to think anymore.

random mummy moments

my mum,my sis and i sitting in the living room watching tv.
mum sitting on the bed in the living room which we use as a sofa since its a waste 2 throw the bed away, when a beetle drop from the ceiling and into the small space between the wall and the bed

shocked my mummy and she scolded the beetle which was upside down. then my mummy continue staring at it and telling us EVERYTHING. like it's upside down, then OH it managed 2 get on its feet. cannot walk infront gt spider web. then OH didnt noe inside gt so many spider web,muz clean. den after dat she decided 2 get a container 2 kope it so it wont anyhow fly(and scare her again or scare us)

after she got a container she went 2 look at it AGAIN and she ASKED IT "你要去哪里啊?" -.-
HAHAHAHA. aft she kope it she was like AHH! 成功!!

my nonsensical little mummy.

another time she was flipping through this random magazine which is in ENGLISH. and my mum is terrible at english.

me: mummy 你在做什么?
mum: 我在看这个 magazine lor!
me: 这个是 in english leh.
mum: yalor! 我真的在看.我看 picture ma!
me: *speechless*

because i dont belong in your life.

insecurities.

just read an email letter from my friend from donkey years ago (ok when i was in year1sem1 to be exact.17 years old.)

it was end of semester and i typed out thankyou emails to everyone. and some typed me back thankyou emails too. and from this friend he said i was really cheerful and all the typical nice things people say in goodbye emails. but whenever im really down, i really do turn back to that precious email which really cheers me up alot.


really;what happened to me? what changed? i used to be really very sensitive, and i still am. but i used to be REALLY cheerful, but im no longer cheerful. so what happened?

how do i regain it back?

because im not strong. because i dont dare. because im too dependant. because i have no guts.

because its me. that says it all.
it was an internal struggle. i thought i won but in the end i lost to myself. really DOWN down. how to do things next time when im like that?!




the only happy thing about today is that i've registered for nikerun 2012.