To You,

hey there. happy 21st!
really hope u're somewhere wifout pain. no more pain, no more tears. only peace and joy(:
its almost been a year yea? 17may2010 would make it a year already.

i still remember. microbio class. lianjie trying 2 contact me 2 get your address & stuffs
when i finally got the news it didnt sink in. michelle came over & i blurted out everything 2 her & she went 2 her class stunned where she eventually cried.

i didn't cry. i only teared. the news refused 2 sink in i guess.
but i couldn't concentrate anymore. i ponned that class. with lianjie & michelle.
we went 2 one stop centre. & den 2 canteen. we laughed & kidded around. trying 2 4get the news & stuff.

it worked 4 awhile i guess. but we eventually cabbed down.
& waited 4 de rest.

& i tell u seriously. i never expected it 2 hurt dat much. but when i saw u..
we agreed beforehand dat we wouldn't cry. we wouldn't make it worse for the others.

but when i saw u, i think i really couldn't help it.
it really seemed so unreal. u didn't look like you at all. not at all the lovely person i knew.
& i think i sorta lost it. i walked away b4 i cried out loud. cried of cuz. i miss u
you seemed so different. so lifeless. totally unlike u. u were quiet, but u were ALWAYS smiling, despite everything
i'll always remember you as a silly guy wif a smile for every1

& i remember dat random msn chat we had. really random!
kidding around & stuffs. asking random qns (like wad rj qn u haf 2day) or me calling u korkor, or u teaching me how 2 write my rj

but the one i'll always remember is the 1 who is always smiling.
who always greets every1 wif a silly smile & a wave
the one who would listen 2 wad everybody says.

& i'll always remember.
u led games during camp. ur very 1st camp. & u were sad cuz u couldn't participate. & we told u, nvm, still got next year!!

& i remember thinking. u'll never get 2 play in camp this year.

i'll always remember u, brother.
& if u could look at many of us' hearts, u'll see dat we all miss u

why did u bottle everything up?
we care. we really do.

i remember my rdna class talking about it a few days later. got so affected. but they don't noe anything.

i remember the news finally sinking in on a wednesday, where i told my classmate, who noticed i wasn't myself immediately after i stepped into class, about it & he consoled me.

i remember crying many nites.
i remember being very spacey everyday
not paying much attention in class

i miss u. i really do.
when i shared 2 de same classmate who consoled me last year (same class as him 3rd sem)
he juz listened
while i struggled wif tears in my eyes

while i went thru de whole of 2day struggling 2 be normal.
once in awhile of cuz tears will come.

but u noe wad?
i miss u.
& i love u, brother

rest well. i hope dat whereever u are, you're feeling fine & better


Love, Me