end of the day you still want me to go your way. stop being so selfish and insistent can? i may not be mature enough but i do know what i want. why cant you give me your blessings? instead you keep going on and on about local unis. seriously, i dont give a shit anymore about local unis BECAUSE THEY DO NOT HAVE THE COURSE I WANT. its not just because i want to rebel,i want to experience going overseas to study. yes i DO WANT THAT. but i do want to study that particular course too.WHY WONT YOU UNDERSTAND? its so simple.
im not rich; im not smart; im not working in a well paying job. i know its tough.but i never thought of stretching out my hands and saying can i have money please? NEVER. so c'mon. stop saying it like i didnt think it through. i thought it through so thoroughly,i spent sleepless nights stressing over this. "quarelling" with my bestie who also sees things your way. worrying about money;about bank loans, about discrimination, about being only with my bestie in a foreign land.

i know its not a smart move, but i dont want to regret anything in life. i gave up the (sponsored) teaching degree, gave up a potential stable job (teaching is always in demand). but i dont really regret. yes,i love kids and i love their innocence. but im not a patient person. i flare up easily and i dislike attention seeking kids, which are quite common?

i dont need you to dig out all your money and grumble about the fact that im taking your money to do stupid things(which wont happen anyway because we dont HAVE the money). but what im saying is i want you to look me in the eyes and say "mel,(or ah min as my parents call me) that's the DUMBEST thing i've ever heard of. but you know what? if that's what you really want, GO FOR IT. i support you."

THATS ALL I WANT! to know that there are people supporting me. my family isnt really for it.outta 3 besties; 1 is completely against the idea of me going overseas.

what i really want is just people to support me, go through this WITH me,not talking at me about being stupid.

i know its not very feasible, and im stupid for not chasing a more realistic dream.but can you imagine if i really managed to? i'll be so proud of myself. im just wondering; would YOU be proud of me? or would you; even after i really graduate, to still say things like seeyou should have gone to local, recognised uni so its easier to find a job.

i know its not gonna be easy with that degree in the event i really do get in. but i sure hope i enjoy the process; because end of the day i feel that life is for living out your dreams, no matter how stupid they are

like how my dream wasnt to be a millionaire(of course i would WANT to but its not my dream.) my dream is to be happily married with 2 kids and live happily ever after.
and i want to be married by 23 and have my 1st kid at 25. people think its stupid,but its STILL MY DREAM. if you dont have a dream then why are you doing everything you are doing now for?